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Unreleased 3: Society's Child

The Tiny Mouse

Janis Ian

There was a tiny mouse
who lived in a tiny house
full of drafts and doubts, and incredible things
like a jack-in-the-box who popped
every Sunday at five o'clock
and a clown who wore a frown that was deafening

He ate off a silver spoon
in a golden room
but platinum plates and diamond goblets weren't enough
"I am bored," said he
"I think I will go to sea
"where I'll be drinking grog and sniffing occasional snuff"

So he stowed away
that very day
but the motion of the ocean made him sick
He went looking for a loo,
but the best that he could do
was the bathroom of the captain of the ship
Oh, the bathroom of the captain of the ship

There was a small still life
of the captains wife
and what he saw there nearly brought the mouse to tears
A calico coat and head
and the inscription read
"To the captain of my heart, from Kitty Dear"

The mouse began to cry
"Oh what a fool am I
"to come so far and then be served up on a plate
"What an awful meal I'll be!
"Most of all, to me!!
"So it's overboard I'll go and make my escape"

He caught a flounder for a sail
Made rudder of his tail
and he swam as hard as he could swim for land
where he dried his whiskers off
and coughed and coughed and coughed
and spat out seven oysters and a clam
Oh, he spat out seven oysters and a clam

He married a mouseketeer
Had children who loved to hear
about the adventures of the tiny stowaway
but it made their noses itch
and their whiskers twitch
to think how close he'd come to being the soup of the day

The moral of the tale
is think before you sail
and always keep your paws and whiskers neat
and if you're dining on a ship
just be sure the room's well lit
so you know what's in the bowl before you eat
Always know what's in the bowl before you eat!

©2012 Rude Girl Pub. All rights reserved; international copyright secured.

Tour Dates

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All tour dates updated on October 20, 2019

  • Friday February 28

    E. J. Thomas Hall, Akron, Ohio

    E. J. Thomas Hall

    Akron, Ohio

    Phone: 330-972-7570

    Visit the venue's website

  • Sunday, March 1

    Buskirk-Chumley Theater, Bloomington, IN

    Buskirk-Chumley Theater

    Bloomington, IN

    Phone: 812.323.3020

    Visit the venue's website

    With Livingston Taylor.
    Tickets will go on sale to the public at 11am on Thursday, Sept 19th. 
    Tickets available via OvationTix

  • Monday June 29 to Friday July 3

    Swannanoa Gathering, Warren Wilson College, Swannanoa, North Carolina, USA

    Swannanoa Gathering, Warren Wilson College

    Swannanoa, North Carolina, USA

    Phone: N/A

    Visit the venue's website

    For the first time, Janis will be giving her 5-day series "A Master Class In Artistry" during each of the Swannanoa Gathering weeks. Time of her classes is TBA; please check the  website for more information. The 5 day class covers everything from the origins of artists to physicalization, songwriting for profit and not so much, performance, the need to be brave, how to survive as an artist in the modern world, and why bother. Points are illustrated with songs and playing as she takes us on a journey that begins with the first caveman to tell a story and continues through the myth of the artist as "crazy", the need for silence, and why she believes "art saves". Drawing on her 55 years of experience in the entertainment industry and her ten years with Stella Adler, presented with humor and grace, brutally honest, and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for her students. 

  • Monday July 6 to Friday July 10

    Swannanoa Gathering, Warren Wilson College, Swannanoa, North Carolina,

    Swannanoa Gathering, Warren Wilson College

    Swannanoa, North Carolina,

    Phone:

    Visit the venue's website

    For the first time, Janis will be giving her 5-day series "A Master Class In Artistry" during each of the Swannanoa Gathering weeks. Time of her classes is TBA; please check the  website for more information. The 5 day class covers everything from the origins of artists to physicalization, songwriting for profit and not so much, performance, the need to be brave, how to survive as an artist in the modern world, and why bother. Points are illustrated with songs and playing as she takes us on a journey that begins with the first caveman to tell a story and continues through the myth of the artist as "crazy", the need for silence, and why she believes "art saves". Drawing on her 55 years of experience in the entertainment industry and her ten years with Stella Adler, presented with humor and grace, brutally honest, and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for her students. 

  • Monday July 13 to Friday July 17

    Swannanoa Gathering, Warren Wilson College, Swannanoa, North Carolina, USA

    Swannanoa Gathering, Warren Wilson College

    Swannanoa, North Carolina, USA

    Phone:

    Visit the venue's website

    For the first time, Janis will be giving her 5-day series "A Master Class In Artistry" during each of the Swannanoa Gathering weeks. Time of her classes is TBA; please check the  website for more information. The 5 day class covers everything from the origins of artists to physicalization, songwriting for profit and not so much, performance, the need to be brave, how to survive as an artist in the modern world, and why bother. Points are illustrated with songs and playing as she takes us on a journey that begins with the first caveman to tell a story and continues through the myth of the artist as "crazy", the need for silence, and why she believes "art saves". Drawing on her 55 years of experience in the entertainment industry and her ten years with Stella Adler, presented with humor and grace, brutally honest, and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for her students. 

  • Monday July 20 to Friday July 24

    Swannanoa Gathering, Warren Wilson College, Swannanoa, North Carolina, USA

    Swannanoa Gathering, Warren Wilson College

    Swannanoa, North Carolina, USA

    Phone:

    Visit the venue's website

    For the first time, Janis will be giving her 5-day series "A Master Class In Artistry" during each of the Swannanoa Gathering weeks. Time of her classes is TBA; please check the  website for more information. The 5 day class covers everything from the origins of artists to physicalization, songwriting for profit and not so much, performance, the need to be brave, how to survive as an artist in the modern world, and why bother. Points are illustrated with songs and playing as she takes us on a journey that begins with the first caveman to tell a story and continues through the myth of the artist as "crazy", the need for silence, and why she believes "art saves". Drawing on her 55 years of experience in the entertainment industry and her ten years with Stella Adler, presented with humor and grace, brutally honest, and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for her students. 

  • Monday July 27 to Friday July 31

    Swannanoa Gathering, Warren Wilson College, Swannanoa, North Carolina, USA

    Swannanoa Gathering, Warren Wilson College

    Swannanoa, North Carolina, USA

    Phone:

    Visit the venue's website

    For the first time, Janis will be giving her 5-day series "A Master Class In Artistry" during each of the Swannanoa Gathering weeks. The final week will also feature a second, more interactive class tentatively titled "War Stories". Time of classes is TBA; please check the  website for more information. The 5 day class covers everything from the origins of artists to physicalization, songwriting for profit and not so much, performance, the need to be brave, how to survive as an artist in the modern world, and why bother. Points are illustrated with songs and playing as she takes us on a journey that begins with the first caveman to tell a story and continues through the myth of the artist as "crazy", the need for silence, and why she believes "art saves". Drawing on her 55 years of experience in the entertainment industry and her ten years with Stella Adler, presented with humor and grace, brutally honest, and a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for her students. 

  • Thursday August 6

    Living Room Concert, Private, Massachusetts, USA

    Living Room Concert

    Private, Massachusetts, USA

    Phone: Private

    Visit the venue's website

    Private Living Room Concert benefitting the Pearl Foundation. We are currently considering other LRC's in the general area; if you are interested please contact us through the "Make Pearl An Offer" charity section of this website. * Please do not ask if you can attend. Invitations are solely up to the donor(s) and we will not put you in touch, regardless of your reason.

[full tour dates list]

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