Website update January/February 2010

The scene: Janis & Pat's living room. Pat sits up, bleary-eyed from a long nap. Janis looks up from the package she's sealing and grins.

Janis: Phew! That was one hellacious sale. Can't believe it's finally over...

Pat (yawning): Wow. Was there a website sale this year?

Janis: Yep. Right when you had your hand surgery and couldn't help, remember?

Pat: Wow. I thought you had some friends helping out?

Janis: They were going to. One fell down a flight of stairs. Another one's mother fell down a flight of stairs. The third had a sudden influx of real, paying work. And one decided to elope that week.

Pat: Wow. So who did fulfillment on the 400+ orders that came in?

Janis: I did.

Pat: You mean you went online, reviewed and downloaded orders, printed them out, double-checked which were foreign, US, needed more than one of something, unwrapped them and signed them, re-wrapped them, packed them in bubble wrap, then a bag, then an envelope, sealed it, made out the customs forms in triplicate, marked the US ones first class or priority, addressed and stamped them, took them to the post office...it must have taken all your time!

(Pat falls back on the couch in a faint, hand to forehead, stunned at how hard Janis has been working. Shaking her head, she looks at her partner in awe.)

(Um, no... not really. The only true part is the “shaking her head.” But it would have been nice!)

Pat: Wow, honey, are you okay? You look tired.

Janis: (Shrugs.) That's the way it goes. Besides, I got to do the best part – I got to make huge checks out - $60G to Warren Wilson, and $120G to Berea. That was a whole mess of money!

Pat: From the sale I don't remember?

Janis: From all those previous sales. (Looks at Pat with concern.) Maybe you should take a nap? I've got to finish some orders.

(Janis rises, creaking, from the couch. Pat takes a nap. One hour later...)

Pat: Why are all these boxes in the living room? And where are my presents?

Janis: Christmas was last week, you already opened the presents.

Pat: Then what are all those boxes?

Janis: The last batch of website sale orders.

Pat: I didn't help at all this year?

Janis: Nope. But it's okay, don't feel bad. That basal joint arthritis is nothing to laugh at, and you really needed the surgery. At least, when you do the other hand this spring, I won't be holding a website sale!!

Pat (muttering to self): Could have sworn I helped... I remember stuffing envelopes, printing stamps, hauling boxes to the post office. (Looks up.) You sure I didn't help?

Janis: It's the anesthesia, honey. You're remembering last year.

Pat: Oh. There was a sale last year?

(Lays down on couch. Takes nap. One hour later...)

Pat: Did the Pearl Foundation make any money this year?

Janis: Yes! Between the message board auction, the tip jar at shows, Paypal donations, and Ebay Giving Works – don't I wish everyone Ebay'd with that! - plus the sale, we took in close to $25,000!

Pat: There was a website sale?

Janis: (Sighs.) Don't you remember our vacation, how I spent all of it at the computer setting up the sale and working with the new webmaster, except for that one night when Don Juan cooked us ribs?

Pat: Noooo... How did it go?

Janis: Not too bad, given the times. Debra and Kat helped some, and once we got home I spent four fourteen-hour days getting everything signed, wrapped, and shipped, so it all went out on time. How's your hand today?

Pat: (Looking down at the huge cast on her arm.) I have a hand in there? (Flexes fingers.) Better, thanks. I think I'll take a quick nap, I've been up all day.

(Lays down on couch. Takes nap. One hour later...)

Pat: I feel much better now. Do you want me to pick up orders?

Janis: There are no orders today. The sale is over.

Pat: What sale?

Janis: The website sale you missed.

Pat: (Glaring.) Don't be silly. I couldn't possibly miss the annual website sale. Who else would answer e-mails with complaints like My Grand Center DVD won't play in my car stereo, it's a rip-off, or Why haven't you mailed my digital songbook yet, your service sucks, or If your autobiography isn't available as an audio book, why can't you just read it into your computer and send it to me?

Janis: I answered all those e-mails.

Pat: Why? You could have left them for me.

Janis: They came in over a month ago... during the sale.

Pat: What sale?

Janis: Aren't you sleepy again, Pat? I think you should take a nap...

Here's hoping your holidays were swell, and the New Year brings us all peace and contentment. And free time...

Best,

Janis