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Thread: Penis Van Lesbian ...

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec 2007

    Talking Penis Van Lesbian ...

    A young man named Penis Van Lesbian walked into the office of a Hollywood agent with his resume and portfolio in hand. "You have the very obvious good looks and excellent demeanor of an actor," said the agent. "Tell me, have you had any roles that I might be aware of?"

    "No sir" said the handsome young man.

    "I dare say I know the reason why, with a name like yours," said the agent. "That's not a name that will go far in Hollywood. I'd love to represent you, but you'll have to change your name."

    "Sir," the very handsome actor protested, "My family has carried this name for generations and I will NOT change it for Hollywood or for any other reason."

    "If you won't change your name, then I cannot represent you, young man," said the agent. "Then I bid you a fond farewell -- my name will NOT change. "With that, Penis Van Lesbian left the agent's office, never to return.

    Five years later, the agent received a letter. When he opened it, a check fell out. He looked at the check. It was for $50,000! He read the letter:

    Dear Sir:

    Several years ago, I entered your office determined to become an actor. You refused to represent me unless I changed my name. I objected, saying the Penis Van Lesbian name had been carried for generations and I left your office. I chanced to reconsider my hastiness and after considerable reflection, I decided to heed your advice and change my name. Now, I am a famous actor with many roles and known to millions, worldwide. I owe you a debt of gratitude, so please accept this check with my humble thanks, for it was your idea which has brought me such fame and fortune.

    Very Sincerely Yours,
    Dick Van Dyke

  2. #2
    Rickster's Avatar
    Rickster is offline I need to take a walk instead of posting!
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Highland, New York


    Mary, Lol. Good one!

  3. #3
    Wildflower Fever's Avatar
    Wildflower Fever is offline I'm really not posting just to see mine get bumped to the top...
    Join Date
    Mar 2006

    Default On that note:

    "Morality is temporary, wisdom is permanent." -Hunter S. Thompson

  4. #4
    Oak Kitten's Avatar
    Oak Kitten is offline On the verge of losing dog because I post so much!
    Join Date
    Mar 2006


    That one really did make me LOL.

    Unique -- like everyone else.

  5. #5
    Bat Guest

    Default Your wish is my command....

    A man walks into a bar with a paper bag.
    > He sits down and places the bag on the counter. The
    > bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.
    > The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little
    > man, about 12' high and sets him on the counter. He
    > reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano,
    > setting it on the counter as well. He reaches into the
    > bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he
    > places in front of the piano. The little man sits down at
    > the piano, and starts playing a beautiful piece by Mozart!
    > 'Where on earth did you get that?' says the
    > bartender.
    > The man responds by reaching into the paper bag. This
    > time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the
    > bartender and says: 'Here. Rub it.'
    > So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly
    > there's a gust of smoke and a beautiful genie is
    > standing before him.
    > 'I will grant you one wish...just one wish... each
    > person is only allowed one!'
    > The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating
    > he says, 'I want a million bucks!'
    > A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is
    > soon followed by another duck, then another. Pretty soon,
    > the entire bar is filled with ducks and they keep coming!
    > The bartender turns to the man and says,
    > 'Y'know, I think your genie's a little deaf.
    > I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks.'
    > 'No ****!' says the man, 'Do you really
    > think I asked for a 12 inch 'pianist'?

  6. #6
    aabram Guest


    Thanks for the smiles, folks

    Annabel x

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