I totally agree with you, Terri. There can't be the one answer for all.
Originally Posted by stardust
But there's one interesting phenomenon I saw again and again when parents divorced. For most people it's the "normal" thing that the father leaves and the kids stay with their mother.
A mother leaving their kids will be judged by society, neighbours, realtives, friends etc. much more harshly than a father and most people don't take the time to look WHY a mother leaves. If she does she must be bad, unnatural, uncaring... - in the people's eyes. They don't ask how the relationship between the parents was and if the parent leaving had another choice. I don't think a mother leaves her children if she has another choice, another way out.
I can imagine situations where a divorce of the parents is the lesser evil for the kids - well, but it remains a trauma anyway.
Things work out, if you let them. It's the in-between that's hard. (Janis Ian)