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lucille
12-29-2009, 01:54 AM
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe' with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the emu.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.' The emu says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.

'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man. 'Same,' says the emu.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?'

'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!'

'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,' says the man.
The waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'
The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b214/lucille92/emu.jpg

gisli
12-29-2009, 07:25 AM
Hahahahahahahaha only in Aussie-land do they make wishes like this.

Mary6906
12-29-2009, 08:07 AM
LOL... cute, I liked that one!

Bat
12-29-2009, 02:08 PM
Bette does a good Sophie!

Randy & Betty in Pa
12-29-2009, 03:15 PM
'My second wish was for a tall chick with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.'

http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b214/lucille92/emu.jpg

Betty??? Is that you???

Best to all

R.:eek:

lucille
12-29-2009, 06:40 PM
Betty??? Is that you???

Best to all

R.:eek:

For Betty:

A firm slap to the side of Randy's head, and for good measure a good kick to his fat arse.

Agnes
12-29-2009, 11:36 PM
LOL :D Thanks, Wendy <grin>

hoops
01-01-2010, 01:05 PM
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahah!
peace
hoops

Mary6906
01-02-2010, 04:33 PM
Here's a joke from an Australian radio program: http://xa.yimg.com/kq/groups/13192037/352985001/name/AussieRadioJoke.wma

:D

lucille
01-02-2010, 04:39 PM
Hey Mary, I sent that out to my email address list. I wasn't confident enough to post it here.:D

Mary6906
01-02-2010, 04:40 PM
YOU, not confident enough? :o

lucille
01-02-2010, 04:42 PM
Yeah, how about that? I must be getting demure and shy in my old age.;)

hoops
01-03-2010, 05:23 PM
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha haha!
peace
hoops

Eva
01-05-2010, 08:53 AM
To just about everything that has been said in this thread:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :D

Eva

lucille
01-09-2010, 04:01 PM
It was the perfect day for a little fishing, but after a while I ran out of bait.

Then a few feet up the shore I saw a snake with a frog in his mouth, and frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth, I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit.

After thinking about it for awhile, I had an idea: I grabbed my bottle of whiskey (hey, don't laugh: it's the best part of fishing!) and poured a little whiskey in its mouth.

Sure enough, his eyes rolled back, he went limp, and I released him without incident. I carried on my fishing with the frog. Caught a big bass, too!

A couple hours later I felt something brush my leg. I looked down and there was that same snake looking up at me. He had two frogs in his mouth.

Eva
01-09-2010, 05:50 PM
Hahaha! I think you have yourself a huntingsnake there. A partner to go fishing with, if you will :D

Eva

coffeegyrl
01-09-2010, 07:17 PM
that one was really funny

hoops
01-09-2010, 07:55 PM
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa hahahahahahhaahahahahahahahha!
peace
hoops