I was asked on Thursday

[hoops]

Family gathered from as far north as buffalo and as far south east as Connecticut on Thursday for our Thanksgiving holiday, each with something to share for the meal. I made the turkey, stuffing, mashed taters, broccolli and apple pie. With 24 people ( a small group this year) there is always room for more. We see each other fairly regularly, except maybe my sister and her family in buffalo ( 6 hour drive, 4 1/2 for me). more than half of us undere the age of 14, we gathered early after Mass for breakfast and then the Turkey Bowl, our yearly family fag (oops, I mean flag) football game. I haven't been able to play last year and this year, still everyone involved had a wonderful time and 6 year old Simon won the trophy for Most Inspirational Player and 5 year old Iris won Most Valuable player, this is the first year anyone undere 12 won an award. dinner was preparing in the house and everyone piled back inside to warm up and to share stories of their lives. Tracy couldn't be there with me and it's just better that way this year. we had our weekend to celebrate together. I heard stories of achievement about all the children, soccer and football, ice skating and such. My niece, Iris, came to me excited to tell me that she had learned some tae kwon do. She showed me a kick and a block and i applauded her. others showed me their skills in all kinds of thing and i applauded each one. Later, My brother Dean, Iris's Fathere, came to me telling me Iris was going to be starting tae kwon do lessons and would i mind helping her out since i am a fifth dregree black belt. it almost brought tears to my eyes having to say no, not that I didn't want to but that i couldn't. I can't lift her leg to hold in in a correct position or move her arm with the type of timing needed to strike or block. i could no longer move my own body to demonstrate these things. I tried, last year a nephew asked the same of me, i tried, and i failed miseribly. I've been so high with thanks, gratitude, joy, that i'd forgotten how hard it hit at that moment when i had to say no, like a nearly molten stone in my heart, burning and heavy. But i can't afford to feel that way. so i'll stop again, and make it all go away
peace
hoops

[PattiP]

Hey Hoops, I was enjoying the family story, 24 members. Wow, I
just have a handful of family, matter of fact, I don't think I even
know 24 people! Great that you have had the abilities in the past
to do these movements with your body and accomplish a 5th Degree
Black Belt. I didn't know that you had a physical challenge, sorry
about that. We JIMB members appreciate that your fingers still
fly across the keyboard. Please take care of yourself and thanks
for all you do for us..........p

[you are in my heart]:)

[Lesa]

I absolutely agree with Patti P. ;)

I personally know what it takes to get a blackbelt. And it's more than what u wear, it is what you are. It was the most humbling thing i'ver ever experienced. My 1st degree will be a year old on the 8th. :) And You are definitely a 5th degree survivor, with a 5th degree great attitude. I am humbled and greatful for your presence in my life. Your attitude always amazes me. But, I can understand u being upset. Just remember that we all love you just the way u are!!

[Bat]

Hoops, they can never take away the fact that you had it once. Circumstances come about to lay us low, but we did it once.
We never may be able to get back to that level again, but we did it once.
And you may never be able to show someone how, but you can tell and explain and talk about it, and everyone listening will know you did it once.

[Kath of the Guitar]

Listen to Ol' Bat woman....
She knows her stuff!!
And in your heart, you know she's right.... ;)
Find another approach to satisfy your soul!

[hoops]

It just makes me wonder, how Janis, or Kath , or Andy, Joan, any of you would feel if you lost your ability to play and/or write and sing...all of it. I'm ok, really, it just hit's me when something like a family member or a friend asks if I can teach them and i know I can't. I was an artist,i lived the life of an artist, the 24 hour a day, 7 days a week, you never know when you will be inspired, performing 6 days a week 6 hours a day after spending 10 -12 hours working on my craft and making sure i would have a place and a group to perform for, growing and expanding my talent including my talent to teach. now it's gone. When i wrote my disertation for my 5th degree it was with all of that hard work behind me and the hope of a lifetime in front of me. I'm going to stop now, because i am so grateful for the many things i do have and i don't want to feed into my negative thinking in any way.
peace
hoops

[Sara]

I'm going to stop now, because i am so grateful for the many things i do have and i don't want to feed into my negative thinking in any way.
peace
hoops
Hoops, you've achieved some truly remarkable things. While it's got to hurt, thinking about what you can no longer do, knowing that you formerly could do them still means a lot. I've never done those things you mention, and probably never will. You're smart to focus on and be grateful for the many positives in your life. I'm firmly convinced there is a strong mind/body/spirit connection. Our attitudes do shape our health, well-being, and life course.

[Lesa]

Hoops you are right, and i don't mean to sound arrogant, I was just trying to help. But, i hope that if i did lose my ability to be a martial artist, that i would be as brave as you. A 5th degree? female??? that's sooooooo rare!! And you will always be that. Our Master, Mr. Harp is a 6th degree. He teaches the kids like, to do an up block your arm is a roof and you're keeping rain from getting on your head!

Besides once you are in tae kwan do, you become part of that family. So, in a way we are related! ;) So, you can't teach, but I bet u could tell some great stories!! I'd love to hear them. I could tell you the one about how i popped two tendons during my purple belt test, and had to keep standing on one foot and fight 3 people. And i refused to leave and go to the dr. until I had bowed out(leaning on Larry) in front of our Grand Master Jack Hwang.

Ten tenants of tae kwan do
Courtesy
integrity
indominable spirit
modesty
perserverance
self-control

[Lesa]

i can't count I mean six ;))

[Kath of the Guitar]

Hoops, I don't want to tell you what goes through my mind, at the thought of not being able to play my guitar......It wouldn't help you!!
But I'd find some F-----' way to get this music out of me!!
Why?.....because it feeds my soul!
If you have that same feeling, you need to fulfill that need!
All I'm saying is, try to be active in it... without being active.....
Use your experience, I'm sure you could give some great tips to lots of kids!
{{HUGS}} ;)

[Bat]

Hoopie...been there, done that. I used to live, eat and breathe horn playing... played often and practiced more, played in the local opera/operetta groups and at the Jr. College (where their music program would get you right into the conservatory!) Band, Orchestra, ensemble groups, (8 in one semester!)....
I really identified myself as " Barbara Graham, Horn player".
Then life took over, sorta got in the way, and the playing days grew sparse and finally disappeared. I still miss it, and have fantasies of maybe getting some modicum of practice back, but realistically, it's really not in the cards.

I was never a songwriter, merely an interpreter of what was written; not a natural musician, but blessed with a good ear and rhythm, and earned a fine tone over the years. Run of the mill, but better than most, and certainly more dedicated and in love with the instrument.
Sometimes I still feel lost without it. 28 years of dedication is a long time.
The one thing I've come away with is no regrets. I did it once, it was good.
Now it's time to move on and do something else well.

[hoops]

thank you all for your understanding and kindnesses, i feel them deeply. it's all kind of new to me, it's only been a few years and before that I had other types of loss to deal with and move on from. it seems like my life has been grow, lose and move on, grow, lose and move on. When I look back, I have grown in ways i never thought possible. I have reached heights I never thought I'd even try for, I have been places, i never dreamed I would go, and most of them because I have lost something first. it's that old saying "when one door closes, another opens' . I've got my senses ready to find that door when it presents itself. The loss of my Mom has been my biggest loss, next to that has been this, the loss of my physical abilities. I have found Tracy, How blessed am I! I will grow, and learn and lose again, i know, but what wonder, what joy lies ahead is at most times exciting, sometimes scarey,always hopeful. thank you all so muich for your support
peace
hoops

[Randy & Betty in Pa]

Hey Hoops....

We're thankful for you despite your insistance that God in HER infinate wisdom put down sidewalks for you to drive on....

Happy "friggen" Holidays to you dear Fiend...

R & B

[aspiemom]

Hoops, you're an inspiration. I know I speak for others besides myself. I haven't met you in person yet, but I feel like I know you. You have a gift that no physical disability can ever take away. You truly listen with your heart when we talk (write). You always have encouraging words for others along with compassion and understanding. You give yourself to all of us and I count myself lucky to know you through this board.

[Bat]

Debra, that says it better than anyone so far....we are truly fortunate to have Hoops in our lives. She has taught us the meaning of Courage!

[hoops]

I can hardly find the words to say thank you
peace
hoops