Partner´s ?????

[gisli]

I was wandering after reading David Uk thread "New Start" how we met our partner, wife, husband. Let me start.

The first time I laid eyes on my wife it was love at first sight. I was in a gardening school and met her slightly in one of the gardening centers that we had to visit to expand our education. I asked who she was and got the answer that she had been in the same school as I but in the class before me. That was all the information I got about her.

I knew I had to see her again so I decided to hold a reunion with the people in my class and the her class, hoping that she would come.

So a party of 100 was organized and watcing the door in agony I waited to see if she came or not, would all this work pay off or not....it did....and.......... she came. We hit it well that first night and decided to meet again the day after, on led to another and ......the rest as they say is history.

I later found out that she had felt the same thing abour me as I did about her when she first saw me.

We now have been together in 20 years and the first thing we did to celebrate this was to go to Amsterdam and she Janis. We sometimes have had our share of good and bad things but I have learned that relationships is work and nothing but work and if you want to be good at what you do you give your soul to that work.

[Oak Kitten]

I met my husband at a funeral. It was actually a memorial service for the crew members of USS IOWA who were killed in an accidental explosion in one of the gun turrets. I was working for a Congressman in Massachusetts at the time, and I was attending a memorial service organized by a local veteran's organization. John, my husband to be, attended in his capacity as the Executive Officer of the local Navy Reserve Center. I was in uniform as well, a newly minted ensign.

After the service, the head of the local Vietnam Veteran's organization invited into the building they just acquired and were renovating for some post-service refreshments. The building used to be a church. We were sitting up in the choir loft talking, and found we had a great deal in common. I decided that I was going to ask him out - something I had never done before. I had VIP tickets to an air show, and I figured that was safe because it could not be construed as overtly romantic, so if he said no, we would both save face. Well he accepted and we had a great time. Then he got us onto the turn-around cruise of USS Constitution in Boston Harbor (he knew the XO of the ship). Then we started have normal dates, and six weeks later, were engaged. We've been married sixteen years, which has included a number of separations due to deployments - both his and mine - but it's been great.

Oak

[Rkitko]

My partner (Adam) and I initially met online. I was still in undergrad college; he was two years out of college and working in Harrisburg, PA. It was May 2003, and I was just beginning my annual summer internship at the college, which also allowed me the time to work nights at the local one-screen movie theatre and coffeehouse. The first time we met in "real life" was when I invited him to see A Mighty Wind because I knew he enjoyed folk music. In fact, I believe it was the fact that I quoted a lyric or two of Janis' in my online profile that made him contact me in the first place (Your music is powerful, Janis!).

Our friendship was destined to be only that since he was still with his current boyfriend, but we certainly knew each other was interested. We stuck to only flirtation, though, as good adults should in this situation. Soon, the summer was over and he was moving--taking a job at a college in Ohio (not far from Melba!). And his boyfriend? Moving to California. It was apparently splitsville for them, but his beau got to California and realized there was nothing there for him, so he eventually joined Adam in Ohio. I thought I'd never see Adam again... Obviously, it didn't last very long, as the relationship had been slowly falling apart for a year or so. Still, I felt like a homewrecker (I've come to terms with that)!

I eventually began to travel out to Ohio to visit during my last years of college and ended up spending my transition summer between undergrad and grad school with him in his little house in a sleepy Ohio town. Travel is our passion and boy have we done a lot (25 US states in two years).

Now? He's in Ohio still, I'm in Washington in grad school, looking forward to the day when he and I can decide together where to move next. Ohhh the life of two academics. (On another note, I call him my partner, even though we've never held a ceremony or lived together for long. I do this because it's something more than anything that "boyfriend" could imply, but I don't do it with any intent of disrespect for those that have much longer standing committments than mine. I believe that term to be very inclusive.)

[Eva]

I have no partner now. But I can tell you a story of how I met a boyfriend I had somewhere in my twenties. We were only together for about nine months. Nowadays we are still good friends. I am 38 now. So it's been a while...

I was studying social work and our school had a bar in the cellar. Usually at the end of the week (in Rotterdam most students go out on Thursday) after class I would go there and have a drink. It was nice there. Lots of students came there and also teachers. And if we had an interesting discussion in class we would usually continue it over a soda or a beer. I have spent a lot of nice Thursdayevenings there.

There were a lot of 'regulars' there. Among them was this blond guy. I didn't really like him. He drank too much and he was usually rude to people. Especially to women. Strangely enough his attitude usually changed 180 degrees if a woman would tell him off. I didn't know that then.

I was playing pool and he came over to me and asked: "So how are you?" I looked at him and thought "Oh no, that a**hole!" and I said: "Are you still that rude to people?" He was a little confused and said: "Uhm... yes..." I didn't let him finish, I just told him that "In that case you can go away now." I continued playing pool and didn't even look at him anymore. He was all surprised and left.

Two weeks later I stumbled over a box of beer. He caught me. I fell straight into his arms. We were together from then and I found out he is actually a really nice guy if you get to know him better. Life is strange sometimes.

Eva

[ponytail]

I met my partner, Dave, in 1978, and we've been together ever since.

I was editing a gay newspaper in Philadelphia, and he was working as an announcer at the public TV station which was then located in Hershey. I placed a personals classified ad in the paper I worked for, and he answered it. I'd had a slew of bad experiences with trying to date guys I'd met in bars or through work, and was about to give up and settle for a lot of anonymous sex. (Luckily I didn't, huh?)

We met at the train station in Lancaster, which is where he was living at the time. I'd only seen a tiny snapshot of him, from which I couldn't tell much, but I'd been very impressed by his eloquent letter. As the train pulled into the station I was thinking, "I hope I find him attractive." Then I saw him -- blue-eyed, fair-haired, handsome and adorable -- and my mantra changed to, "I hope he finds me attractive!" He did. The rest is history.

Our relationship remained a weekend thing for nearly ten years until I gave up big city living and moved here in 1987 (at that point I quit a job as a magazine editor in NYC to come here). I could go on and on about how wonderful he's been to me and how much we've seen each other through, but this is only supposed to be about the beginning. I will say one more thing, though -- he said he responded to my ad because I quoted the song "Being Alive," from Stephen Sondheim's musical "Company:" "Someone to hold me too close/ someone to hurt me too deep/ someone to sit in my chair/ and ruin my sleep/ and make me aware of being alive..." I sure am glad, and grateful, that I chose to use that quote.

[hoops]

sounds like a lot of wondeful stories...can't wait to have one of my own. My mom and dad tho...there's is a love story. They were both going to the same college. Mom was 17 (almost 18) and dad was 26, he'd been in the army , did his tour in Germany and decided to go to college on his GI bill. Mom was just ourt of Catholic school, she was valedictorian and was recently engaged to the biy she dated in high school since her mom begged her not to become a nun. she walked into the common hall on the campus, looking something like a cross between Audrey Hepburn and a beautiful teenager. Dad was sitting at the bar and looked up from his beer and saw her walk behind him and said to the guy at the bar "That's the woman i'm gonna marry" Later that evening they danced together and dad asked if he could see her again. Mom said " it's lent so if you'd like you can meet me for Mass at 6 am, i go everyday." he was there the next day. and it was love ( how she broke the engagement and the two men met was not quite as picturesque. she had broken off the engagement after sgoing home to visit her family. about a month later on another trip home her appendix burst. My dad rushed up there to be by her side and her ex boyfriend was with her. The two men met as she was being wheeled into surgery...she says she felt like dying :)

[moe75]

I met Heather in 1985 when we were both working for the same flower company in town. I worked in the warehouse, and she was a floral designer who came in every once in a while to get some stock. We'd exchange some sarcastic banter back and forth, and I really learned to enjoy her wit. It never once occured to me to ask her out. She just wasn't my type. This went on for a better part of two years, and we became quite good friends.

Then one day she's standing in front of me, and she's actually trembling as she shyly asks me if I'd like to go out on a date. My first reaction was "How do I get out of this without hurting her feelings". Then I looked into her eyes. They were shining with something warm and bright. No one had ever looked at me like that in my life. I change my mind right then and there and spitted out something like "Sure, uh sounds good Heather". God, I swear if I live long enough I'll never see another smile like the one she gave me then. It transformed her whole face and did wonders to my silly stupid heart. I know I never did anything to deserve her, and I still wonder what the hell she ever saw in me.

Maybe I should ask her sometime.

[NinasSpaceChild]

Some lovely life affirming accounts here.

Mine is quite long so I won't write it all but will briefly state. :)

After a childhood of constant abuse from a violent father and an alcoholic and drug addicted mother I was eventually placed in full-time care at the age of 13, at my request.

From 16 onwards I started to explore my sexuality and would take long bus rides from where I lived at the time into Manchester in the summer evenings. Those were great months for me.

On the 30th June 1990, when I was 17, I met Roger, strangely, at a bus stop and we have never looked back. You could say I learned the truth at 17. :)

[Manchester]

What a lovely story Moe, and the rest are very touching too. Good thread, Gisli.

My hubby and I met at work and we got chatting at a lunchtime office outing to the pub (things were different then). I was new to the firm and was telling another colleague I would be 21 in a couple of months. Mike nearly spat his drink out - he had thought I was older - and told me he was also 21 in a couple of months; turns out he's seven days older than me! I then got up and put Dire Straits on the juke box and when I got back to the table he said how much he liked them. Coincidentally I'd just broken up with a boyfriend and had a spare ticket to a DS concert that very weekend, so I asked Mike. The rest, as they say, is history.

We will celebrate our Silver Wedding anniversary in September, he is my soul mate, my best friend and, in the words of Barry White, my everything.

[Dee]

Mine is quite long so I won't write it all but will briefly state. :)

After a childhood of constant abuse from a violent father and an alcoholic and drug addicted mother I was eventually placed in full-time care at the age of 13, at my request.

Same here Dylan, except I wasn't placed in foster care, tho I did always feel I wasn't part of my family really.

Moving along ...

The topic is partners. I've had only one - Ken. We were together as such for 10 years, and although in the end we had to go our separate ways, today I consider him my best friend and ally. We met in a park.

Into the present ...

I have been seeing someone I refer to as my boyfriend - Jim. He likes to be called Jimmy, so I usually comply. I also call him Mr Whistles since he is very often whistling when I'm around. ;) We met through a Gay men's phone line - after about 2 years of him hedging. (Only after being married and having a child, and divorcing 25 years later did he realize his homosexuality.) I finally told him that either we meet or end this cat and mouse game. Now we just laugh about those times, and often.

We met for coffee. The attraction was mutual, and here we are over two years later still seeing each other. We speak in person or by phone daily. I could say we are past the "in love" stage and have grown to love and understand each other quite well. That's more than I can say about most "boyfriends" I've had over the years.

[pulmike]

In my part of the world the holiday season is cold and dark. I met my wife Ellen on a blind date, two days before Christmas.

That year had been a bad one. The day after the Christmas before, my first wife asked me to leave our home. She had called me from her new boyfriend’s house, saying she would be staying there until I packed up and left.

I hadn’t known about him. I had three children still at home. The youngest was two. I found an apartment and left in a downpour of despair like I had never known. We settled the legal things by May of the next year. I received joint custody and equal time, and for my first Christmas alone I would have the kids. Thank God. I knew I would sorely need them around me when that time rolled around again. I had always had trouble in the short, dark days around the winter solstice anyway.

Well, the year passed in a bit of a blur and I was facing the holidays with as much courage as I had when a colleague began to pester me about going out with a woman he had met professionally. He told me she was from Montana; divorced about a year, and she seemed interesting. He said he was working with her to “tie up some loose ends.” I didn’t ask. He wouldn’t have told me anyway.

I didn’t feel like a blind date. I hadn’t ever had a blind date. I hadn’t had a date of any kind in nearly twenty years. However, he was a lawyer and could be both persistent and persuasive. Two nights before Christmas I found myself waiting in a local restaurant, nervous as two cats. I had flatly refused to do this alone, so my friend and his wife were there as well. A woman walked in and came towards our table. My friend rose. Uh Oh! Blind Date Hell! Not my type! No Attraction Whatever! Red Alert! Danger!...

She walked on past. My friend sat back down, laughing. He had done that on purpose. Before I quite had my wind back he was at it again. This time he rose for the approach of a woman who was, clearly, out of my league entirely. He greeted her warmly and introduced her as Ellen. Intimidated and Badly Flustered in a way that only a man who has not dated in 19 years can know, I stumbled through the introductions. My friend was grinning at me, proud of himself.

He still is proud of himself, and I am still grateful. My Lady and I have been together for 15 years. She is a strong, competent, centering, calm, beautiful Montana girl that I cannot imagine my life without. She has raised my youngest son. I have raised her youngest daughter. She is My Lady Ellen, and I love her dearly.

pulmike

[Stephen]

I suppose I can't quite call Lynda 'partner,' at least not yet. After all, we've only been seeing each other for 5 years! But it's an especially appropriate subject for me today, as this is her birthday...and yes, I wish I were 300 miles away in Alabama at the moment but it didn't work out this time.

Not surprisingly, we met at a concert. She was playing, I was in the audience. After most of the crowd had wandered out, L was up on stage squaring away her piano and music so I went up and introduced myself. No, I wasn't a complete stranger -- we had exchanged emails before. Anyway, I ended up being her guest...date, really...at the reception later. And many receptions since; I just tell people "I'm with the piano player."

And with any luck, I'll be with her a long time. :)

[Dar]

I first met Peggy about 17 years ago. My best friend was having her annual Christmas Eve get together at her home and mentioned that, besides the usual suspects, her old high school sweetheart was in town from California. I attended the party alone, since my girlfriend at the time was very closeted and always spent the Christmas holiday with her parents. I walked into the party and immediately noticed an absolutely beautiful woman with hair turning silver and freckles for days. My first thought was, figures, yet another gorgeous woman that my friend had in her past. I get introduced to Peggy and her girlfriend, we exchanged pleasantries. Later she gave my friend two gifts, a Cris Williamson album and a Naiad Press book. (lesbian fiction) NONE of the other women at the party had any idea who Cris was and very few of them read any books at all, mostly jocks. So not only was she attractive, but she had taste in music and loved books enough to give them as gifts. We chatted a little about those topics, I frequently mentioned my absent girlfriend, so that the daggers from Peggy's girlfriend would lighten up. I never in a milliion years thought that I had any chance at all with P, plus we were both 'married' anyway. That was it, although over the next couple of years I would hear about J's friend in CA, Peggy. Fast forward to 1992, Christmas again, although this time I'm nursing a broken heart and never wanting to be in a relationship ever again. Turns out Peggy is in town and in the exact same place. We reconnect, start comiserating, both agreeing that we are done with relationships. She called me a week later, still in town, looking for some company since she was trapped alone at her brother's. I'm thrilled that she liked me enough to learn my phone number.....did I mention I never thought she'd give me a second thought? I met up with her, we talked all night, she gave me her number in CA. When the phone bills became the same as airline tickets, we decided maybe we should see each other again in person..........and here we are still in love and forever grateful to our exes for deciding that the grass was greener for them somewhere else. PS....both of them have been through a few other grasses since the ones they left us for.

[ponytail]

What a heartwarming bunch of stories! And what a great idea for a thread. So happy to be a part of it.:)

[Dar]

Moe, I think you and Heather make a LOVELY couple.

this is a wonderful thread, it's so great to hear everyone's stories!!

[PeteCC]

Hi, All,

Well, I'm not relating any story about myself this time. (Readers of previous posts of mine may recall that love, at least RECENT love, is not a forte of mine.)

I would like to recount an incident I witnessed a few weeks ago.

I was at the UK LRC a few weeks ago, and was fortunate enough to have Manchester, (Anne), and her hubby, Mike, let me share their accommodation........

Just this springs to mind.

Although it was obvious that Anne and Mike held each other in high regard as the weekend progressed, (well, it was obvious from the start), at one point, Mike was dozing on the sofa, head back, mouth slightly open, catching flies I guess, Anne walked passed him, and gently stroked him from the throat up to his chin with her finger. Mike dreamily opened his eyes, saw what had 'disturbed' him, and gave a smile so full of beautitude and affection that I literally had tears in my eyes.

Sorry, I don't know where I'm going with this, just that this has stayed with me for the last few weeks, and maybe sorry to Anne too for me telling this tale, but I felt it worthy of comment.

Anne, you are beautiful! Mike, as are you!

Enviously, and ever hopefully,

PeteCC

[Lily]

My story is strange and sad at the same time.
The love of my live, my ex-husband, (yes, yes a man!), my dear friend and I are not longer together.
It wasn't meant to work. The G-d, I believe, made a mistake or played a really cruel joke with us. How could I, a lesbian, fall in love with the person who happened to be a man?!
And yet...

I have met him when I was 15 years old. He was on the rival team on some TV show back in USSR. I have noticed the unusually mature and charming guy but didn't even dare to speak to him.
It turned out that he has transferred to my school (it was a special school for physics and math) next year. I was lost in his humor, charm, intelligence and kindness from the first day. We have been together for 1 year and than my family left for Israel and his immigrated to US. We are both Jewish, as you see.
I have left with a broken heart to my new country to discover my sexuality and that I am not destined to ever forget him.

He came to visit me in Israel 10 years later after writing me a letter and admitting that he still loves me. I was through numerous relationships of all kinds at that time, and knew I've never felt the same for any person the way I felt for him. We have picked up from where we dropped off 10 year ago.
I have moved to US next year. At first, we were euphoric, and than reality took over. We desperately wanted it to work, despite my sexual orientation. It never did - we’ve tried it all.
17 years later and a sea of pain, we have two wonderful children to tie us together forever and two broken hearts to heal. (I still cry almost every week).
My current g/f is very understanding; I'm blessed with her, but for how long? It has been years now …

[Dar]

Hello Lily! thank you for sharing your story. I hope you are finding happiness now, and that you and your exhusband remain good friends.

[Lily]

Hi Dar!
Thank you for the warm comment. My husband and I are very close even today, besides we run our business of 14 years together :-)
The peace is still not on the horizon unfortunately, on other hand, if it won't be for Janis's music for the past years, I don't know where I would be today ...
Hey, my g/f is also a Janis's Ian fan and a musician herself. Just like Peggy, she loves Janis but rolles her eyes sometimes wishing I got a life too :p when she finds me glued yet again to the JIMB site late at night

Good to be back
Take care
Lily

[Charlie]

Some touching stories have been posted haven't they. I met my wife in Barcelona - nice eh. Unfortunately it was a seedy pick up place in Leeds and not what was to become our favourite city. I was on a night out with "the lads from work" and Julie was on a hen night. Not the type of place we would normally go (honest). We arranged to meet the following week and in the meantime I was made redundant at a time when unemployment was at a high point. I don't what she saw in me to make her stay but we are still together 24 years or so on.

[Charlie]

Oh yes I remember what made her stay now. It was my good looks, wit and charm allied to my well developed sense of modesty :)

[hoops]

i know i told another story earlier, but i just remembered this one. A woamn, who is now a good friend of mine, was trying to attain my interests. I liked her, in fact love her but we are just too different for it ever to work. She shared with me of the time when she met the love of her life, her late wife. She had never dated, much less been with a woman before and wasn't looking for one. Her late wife was looking for her exactly it seemed. They saw one another in the grocery store and said pleasant hellos, my friend thought nothing of it till she went to load her car and leave. As she was backing out of her parking spot, this woman hit her car, yes i said car, as in motor vehicle, with her own car. it was alla ploy to get my friends phone number,( she only dented the car slightly) but the police were called and the whole exchanging of information was done. This woman called my friend repeatedly till she finally agreed to have dinner with her... 7 months later they were married in hawaii with 500 guests and 7 years after that , my friend held her love's dying body in her arm after they were struck by a drunk driver. it was 5 years before my friend met me and she'd not dated anyone in all that time. NowI thank God that she is with a wonderful woman and the two of them are crazy in love for more than two years.

[Dar]

wow....I'm happy to hear your friend found love again after that terrible tragedy