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Mary6906
09-17-2009, 07:39 AM
Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).

Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

The Starbucks Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well and make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

Amy in Vermont
09-17-2009, 09:22 AM
Amy's Law:

If you are on the phone with a vendor, their computer system will go down.

Corollary of Amy's Law: If you call me to fix your computer, it will magically work fine the moment I say Hello. I wish I could take credit...I am after all, a tech goddess, but alas, its just the way it is.

Peppermint
09-17-2009, 04:48 PM
Caroline's law:

The year you resign yourself to being fully committed to the swim team are the years that team population will shrink by at least 50%, leaving 6-7 swimmers on the team.

The moment you talk to a friend and former swimmer about possibly coming out is the day they walk away from you and pretend not to know you.

The day the SAAC committee asks you to bring out 3 people from the team is the day you realize that you only have 7 swimmers and at least 4 cannot show up, with the rest as probably saying no.

hoops
09-17-2009, 08:50 PM
about the law of alibi. i have had three days in a row with three flat tires....AND a flat spare.

law of manners: when reaching out your hand to greet someone of importance in your life your nose will gush with fluid.

law of humor: when making a sarcastic joke and laughing heartily, the butt of the joke will be behind you.

second law of humor: when trying to lighten the mood with a kindly joke, no one will get it

law of pets; when you really need to pee, the cat will be sound asleep in your lap and weigh a ton

law of first impressions: when meeting someone for the first time, you'll have A) your fly down B) a spot on your clothing you didn't know was there C) a lapse of judgement and trip over something that isn't there

peace
hoops