Update: my mother, my family, my life

[sister rose]

Just wanted to give everyone a quick update as to what has been going on (with my life) and why I haven't been around much....

I am now (temporarily) taking care of my grandchildren full time...not sure how long this will last as my daughter is in rehab at the moment. She's doing quite well, actually and has been drug-free for almost 3 weeks. Of course I am still working full time also and my mother has been getting worse and in and out of the hospital continuously. She was discharged last week and admitted to A Virginia nursing home for skilled nursing care. Last night she began to have severe difficulty breathing and was sent to the hospital via ambulance by the staff. While en route, she became unconcious and went into respiratory arrest and the attendent had to assist with breathing the rest of the way. Upon arrival at the ER she was immediately intubated and put on a breathing machine. Her vital signs began to flucuate and finally her blood pressure dropped way to low. She has been getting a dopamine infusion to try to raise her pressure while being sedated to keep her from fighting the tube. A feeding tube has also been inserted to give her nutrients. Right now, the doctor says it's just a matter of waiting, but, doesn't think she will ever be able to breathe on her own. I'm going to give her a little time (maybe a week or so) and then I will probably have them pull the tube and see what happens. I am back and forth from hospital to home at the moment due to not always having a sitter, so I will try to drop by when possible.
I miss all of you and hope to be back more regularly soon.
Dian...I do still plan to attend the show Sunday night, depending on any changes...I will let you know.

Thanks all,

Lexa

[Judy]

Indeed trying times for you, Sister Rose. Dealing with your mother's condition would be strain enough, but then to add in your worry for your daughter and care for her children...well, that's just a lot. Very glad to hear, though, that your daughter is sticking with her rehab and my best hopes that she will be able to stay clean.
Thinking about you through it all.
Judy

[Cardiffgal]

Take care with all you have on your plate. My sincere best wishes for your daughter's recovery and for the best and most peacefilled out come for your mother.

Sending you prayers and Rudie Power.

[Denise]

Hey sister_rose - from one helluva driver to another ....
I'm thinking of you .....

[Agnes]

That's an awful lot to deal with, Lexa. I wish you strength and hope and will send you Rudie Power all the way through this.

[diver_boy]

if you ever need anything, you know where to find me. love you lots.

[gisli]

This is a lot to deal with, I´ll be thinking about you, can´t do much more than adore you for what you are doing for your grandchildren and daughter and pray for your mother and you. You are a kind and gentle person, take care. Rememember to write every now and then.

[Dee]

A prayer for strength for you and your family, Sister Rose.

[NinasSpaceChild]

Hi Sister Rose.

I don't know you that well, but can see these are trying times for you. I hope you do manage to get some respite for yourself soon and I will send healing thoughts out to you.

Take care, Dylan.

[sister rose]

as usual your words are very encouraging as well as comforting. Not much change in my mom at this time. She has been spiking a fever and they are trying to get it down...other then that, pretty much the same. The girls (grandchildren) are being real troopers right now....I'm actually glad to have them here to keep me together. And they haven't complained a bit about staying with a sitter when I'm at the hospital, etc.
My daughter seems to be doing really well also.
I'll be online for a few minutes before the girls get home from school..so, I'm trying to catch up. Thanks again...everyone! Talk to you soon.

Lexa

[gisli]

Great to read this sister rose, lots of good vibes and thoughts coming to you. Take care and think positive, ((hug)) to all of you.

[GodSistah]

BIG BIG LOVE and prayers for you and your family, Sister Rose! :)

~Andrea~

[hoops]

Lexa, my sister my friend, my thoughts and prayers are with you and i'm sending out hugs for the times when you just need one
peace
Noel

[RedjackRyan]

Hang in there Lexa, all our love and well wishes for you and your family.

[Denise]

Hope today is a much better day....

When the Rudie bus is cleaned out from it's winter travels and ready for the next road tour...you can count on me to take good care of it until you are ready to sit in the driver's seat once again..... :)

[Bat]

Times don't get much tougher than this, Lexa...you're doing all the right things and you're a strong lady. Best to your daughter to do well with her battle and keep things off your shoulders...I know you love your family, so this is not hard work, just more responsibility, which you handle well.
I'm sad about your mom, and I hope she has an easy time of it, whichever way she decides to go. You'll be able to bear that too, but it will be tough.
We're here for you, girl! A huge Batty hug, and a spare for when you need it, as Hoops said so well!
Be brave and strong, we love you, Rudie.

[Melba]

Lexa, sorry to hear about your mom. My prayers are with you and I hope your daughter can beat the odds on this one. It is a tough place to be in for any of us, but I sense you are a strong enough Rudie to handle it. We are hear for you. Take care.

[sister rose]

Again, thank you everyone.
Today is day four....the doc attempted to begin weaning mother from the ventilator this morning, but, was unsuccessful.....she is not able to breathe any on her own. She is still running a fever and vital signs are fluctuating from high to low. He (doc) says he is going to let her rest this weekend and just work on reducing the fever and next week we can discuss what to do.....he doesn't think she will ever be able to breathe on her own so it's basically a matter of how long to keep her alive this way. I'm staying home tonight...a break from the hospital...and I'm going to go see Janis in Charlottesville this weekend and think (or not) about it ....I think this will be a very important and hopefully relaxing show for me.

I took a discman and headphones to the hospital last night so she could listen to some music. I took Billie's Bones and I know I saw tears when I Hear You Sing Again was playing...I cried with her....it was the first sign of real emotion I've seen from her in awhile....I think I'm going to have that played at her funeral.

My daughter is coming home tomorrow.....she will be her with the girls this weekend while I'm in Charlottesville....should be a real test.

Sorry this is so long and depressing, but, it feels good to say (type) it....thanks everyone for your support and words of encouragment....I love you all!

Lexa

[Cardiffgal]

I hope you have a wonderfilled weekend with healing filing your spirit.

All the best to you and your family.

[sister rose]

A quick update: Mother appears to be getting worse...she has now become non-responsive even to voice...no pupil response, and although the latest CT scan was normal, there appears to be no brain activity. We (the doctors and I) have decided to give her another week on the machine, then, we'll try to wean her again, and if she is still not able to breathe any on her own....they will turn it off.....
I have to go this weekend to start packing some of her things in her apartment....
Thank you everyone for your support and kind words and for giving me an outlet to vent at this time.....

more later...i can't really see well enough to type at the moment.....

[Wildflower Fever]

Lexa, I deeply apologize but I have never noticed this thread until now. I hope most of all you are doing well, take some time for the roses and Natalie and Janis. Please let me know whatever happens, I know you will make the right decisions, and I send my love to you in this time. Of course, you know you can count on me if you need anything, and I'm going to give you a call sometime soon. I hope your weather is beautiful, your'e doing OK, and everything, no matter the result, works out best for your mother and you. That's all I can say for now and I know you'll at least get some glasses so you can read your posts.... Kidding. Love ya', Ben.:)

[folkrocks]

Sister Rose,
I am so sorry, I know what you must be feeling. Having to even think about losing a parent is so hard to deal with.
Sue

[Cardiffgal]

Good luck sister-rose, these are tough days ahead. May the letting go be peaceful.

With hugs and prayers

[moe75]

So very sorry to hear of your mother's turn Sister Rose. My prayers, little and paltry they may be, are yours for the taking.

[invsbl_wife]

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I know what it's like, and it's not easy no matter how well prepared you think you are. Just know that there is a lot of love for you in this group and that we're all here to support you when you need it. Remember to take care of you. Sending you a load of hugs...


Carla

[RedjackRyan]

Oh Lexa...<big hugg> so sorry your mom took a turn for the worse.. You and she are both in my prayers..

[sister rose]

Thanks, RJ and everyone else....I won't list all your names, but, I want you all to know that each individual message has given me some sort of peace...I'm very grateful for that!....just stopped by to say hello while on a little break of sorts. I'm staying home with the girls tonight as opposed to the hospital. We tried changing the machine again yesterday....having her breathe 8 x per minute assisted and the rest on her own...she did pretty good most of the day, but, became too tired by evening and couldn't do it on her own at all anymore. That's probably the best we'll ever get. 5 more days and the tube will be completely removed...we'll just have to see what happens.
Hope everyone is doing well and if anything is going wrong, it's RandyPA's fault.....or is it Redjack? No, Randy....ummm...Redjack...oh, never mind.

WFF...don't sweat it a bit! I know you're there!;)

[gisli]

Sorry this is so long and depressing, but, it feels good to say (type) it....Lexa

So sorry to hear about how things are progressing, you are a strong person and a kind one, thank you for updating news about your mom. Please when ever you have the time let us know, talk to us. We want to be with you on this, it is life and there are so many nice people here that want to keep on keeping on sending you and your mother and your sister good thoughts and prayers, you are so special to us and what you post is not long. Hope you can get time now and then tothink about yourself in midst of all this. Thank you for you.

[hoops]

Lexa, i have been thinking of you and praying for you. I'm not tryiong to being attention to myself but it seems today's anniversary of my own mother's death has kept you close to my heart in the last few weeks and months. I hope that you and you mom do find peace.
With much love
Noel

[GodSistah]

Much love and prayers for you, Sister Rose!

~Andrea~

[Agnes]

Lexa, I don't really know what to say, except that you're in my thoughts and I send you strength and love.

hug, Agnes

[ponytail]

Continuing to send prayers your way. And hugs too.

[Cardiffgal]

sister-rose,

Just a note to let you know I am thinking of you, your mom and your family this weekend.

You are in our prayers.

[diver_boy]

mama, check your email.

prayers are with you tonight.
chris