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Mary6906
01-16-2009, 06:17 AM
The Four Cats

Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer,
The second man was an Accountant,
The third man was a Chemist, and
The fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, "T-square, do your stuff."

T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Spreadsheet, do your stuff."

Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, "Measure, do your stuff."

Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said,
"What can your cat do?"

The Government Employee called his cat and said, "CoffeeBreak, do your stuff."

CoffeeBreak jumped to his feet.....

ate the cookies.....
drank the milk......
sh*t on the paper......
screwed the other three cats.......
claimed he injured his back while doing so.......
filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions…..
put in for Workers Compensation….. and
went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.

DaveM
01-16-2009, 01:41 PM
Dang....I had no idea my cat worked for the government.

He has a new name now....Free To Good Home. Or at least the first person who inquires.

coffeegyrl
01-16-2009, 01:46 PM
All the cats I have ever fostered were formerly known as Free To A Good Home!

DaveM
01-16-2009, 01:55 PM
You know, of course, how people decide who has a "good home"? They're the first ones who stop by and ask: "are you the one with the cat?"

sister rose
01-16-2009, 02:13 PM
My cat, Natalie, just sort of moved in and wouldn't leave.......:confused:

Bat
01-16-2009, 02:19 PM
Rosie, your cat has therefore to be a gov't employee: She knows a good thing when she sees it and isn't about to leave before she gets tenure.

Eva
01-16-2009, 02:21 PM
So that's where Max works. Aha. I didn't know they employed cats and dogs...

Eva

sister rose
01-16-2009, 05:47 PM
Rosie, your cat has therefore to be a gov't employee: She knows a good thing when she sees it and isn't about to leave before she gets tenure.


She has kind of taken over. Went in the bedroom one day and she had knocked everything off my vanity table and was lying on it asleep. :eek: I just moved my stuff and let her have it......;)

DaveM
01-16-2009, 06:03 PM
I had a dog adopt me once....he just appeared on the porch one day and stayed. I've often believed that he ran away from someone who had abused him--the first time I picked up a stick to see if he would retrieve it, he cringed. I threw the stick down and hugged him and after that we were inseparable. When I went out in the canoe I had to make sure to let him get in--otherwise I'd be a mile down the lake and look back to see him swimming madly away and trying to catch up with me (don't ever think that getting a soggy dog out of a lake and into a canoe is easy!). He was quite remarkable. Can't help but remember Will Rogers' words: "if dogs don't go to heaven, I want to go where they go when they die".