complaint department

[trish55]

I must admit i am a born complainer, one of my shortcomings. Someone told me about going 21 days without complaining, some sort of new thing that people were doing. Has anyone heard about it. I guess you wear a band around your wrist and everytime you find yourself complaining about something you put it on your other wrist. I thought i could practice being more grateful instead of complaining, maybe it will help?:)

[Eva]

I don't know. I have only heard of the 'fartpenalty' a friend of mine did with her family at home. If someone farted out loud they got to put 25 cents in an assigned jar. End of the month they would get Chinese take-out from the money that was in the jar. It worked for them :D

But seriously... some ideas:
1. Don't complain throughout the day. But do spend half an hour per day (f.i. from 7.00 - 7.30 pm) complaining about everything you don't like. And remember: fill the entire half hour because the rest of the day you're not allowed to.
2. Complain about one thing but then right away say three good things. For instance: "Sheesh! streetentrance to this restaurant is bad! I almost fell while coming in". "But the staff is friendly (1), the food is good (2) and it's a very affordable restaurant (3)"
3. Everytime you want to complain about something take a deep breath and count untill ten. Only voice every fifth complaint. Let the others go.

Does that help? :) I think it's really cool that you realise it and that you want to do something about it.

Eva

[Dee]

I'm too busy to post. I think I'll e-mail this to myself and read it later. :p

Or as Redjack say, quit yer bitchin'! :eek:

[Jim in Chattanooga, TN]

Oh, just bitch if you want to. Get it all out.

[hoops]

how do we differ complaining from bringing up a less than happy thing that needs to be said?
peace
hoops

[Dee]

Okay, I’ll TRY to be serious. I complain as the need arises, and without guilt. Guilt is for the guilty I say.

I also don’t believe gratitude can ever be manufactured. It comes from focused introspection and usually that takes enduring some emotional pain. Not sure of any particular exercises you could apply to this tho, Trish. I suppose that would depend on each circumstance and each individual person’s abilities and resources.

[Eva]

Am I being too serious again? :confused:

Eva

[Bat]

Not really, Eva. Constant Carping is never fun to be around. The best answer to it is, "If you can do something about it, do it. If not, then quit, already."
There is a big difference between venting, (getting something off your chest that's personal), and bitching about something that is going on around you that you can't have any effect on. You might not like the latter, but bring it up, talk rationally about it, and quit. No sense beating a dead horse.
You say 'enough with the adages, already?'...me too.

[Eva]

Heh... :) I tried to be positive and helpful. How un-piratelike of me :)

Eva

[Dee]

Not really, Eva. Constant Carping is never fun to be around. The best answer to it is, "If you can do something about it, do it. If not, then quit, already."

That's basically my philosophy too Bat. Life is far too short to waste energy complaining about things that are beyond our power to change (which normally includes a great many things). Sometimes it makes a lot more sense to just accept life on life’s terms. What’s that saying? Pick your battles wisely?

[Bat]

It's too early in the morning, Eva...if sweetness doesn't work, then Clop 'em!