it's sunday

[hoops]

it's sunday at about 12:20 am. i notice i've been staying up later and later lately. i'll have to be up at 5 am for my morning meds meal and walk. then i'll go back to bed till about 9:30. i have to be at mass at 10:30 afterward members of my family meet at my dad's for breakfast. my younger sister and i usually take care of preparation and clean up. we've developed a system together and we work well and smoothly together so things go quickly. after a little visiting dad has to go do something and everyone else has busy days and the kids have naps to take and days to plan, so we each go to our repective homes... by this time it is time for my midday meal ( by the way, i cannot partake in breakfast at dad;s) so the meal the meds and the walk happen again, i might sit down for a minute to see what's on tv, but most times i just got to bed for an afternoon nap. today tho, i have laundry to do so i'll be at the laundramat after lunch. i may take a nap when i'm done with that, probably will. i seem to have so little energy anymore. today i slept almost all day and i'm still exhausted. yes i know it's the middle of the night, but if i went to lay down, i would fall asleep, i just don;t want to yet. don;t know why. had to use clear packing tape to tape my bumper back on my car...the drivers rear bumper got hit the other day, i don;t know by whom, but it wasn;t bad, just kinda hanging so i taped it up. i have a feeling i'll have to re-do it tomorrow cause i taped it late this evening and i don't think i did a great job. it'll last thru tomorrow, but not thru the week.
the tv is on though i'm not really watching, it is a program on women docs. it looks good, i'm just not concentrating well. funny, when i'm listening to someone like Janis or Joni i can;t write or watch tv or do anything really except maybe walk, drive, exercise. i Have to be able to concentrate on them when i listen, but other artists, i don;t need to concentrate on so much so i can do all those things while i listen... weird huh.
i still havemy christmas decorations up, it's not much just a 2 foot tree with lights attached and a string of green lights across my fireplace mantle and holiday cards on the mantle too. i just don't feel like taking them down yet. I've always been that way, i likee the holidays to last, sometimes into february. also, being so sparcely decorated i feel like i haven't gotten the full BANG of the holidays, but when i go to dad's in the morning, i'll soak in the tree and full house decoration.
i thank you, message board, even if no one reads this or responds, that;s ok because i got to tell it to the message board...to someone
peace
hoops

[Bat]

I'm a-listenin', Hoops. I don't like to go to bed early, either...I like the quiet in the late night. It's misty and moisty out tonight, just got home from the best party we go to every year on the first Saturday in January. Given in honor of her son's birthday that will never be again...he died 12 years ago of AIDS, just shy of being 22 years old, and just shy of living long enough for the 'cocktail' to be his. I never knew him, but absolutely love his mom and always go to that party, because of her, the others she invites, and the FOOD! OMG...what a spread! Always a hundred things to eat, hot, cold, veggie and meats, cheese, nuts, cookies, desserts, you name it!...and great columbian supreme coffee from the beans. She really knows how to throw a party, and I wouldn't miss it!
So now I'm home, have just switched over to cable broadband from phone co. broadband, and it is quite a bit faster...seems more positive, if that makes sense, more 'presence' in the delivery of signal. Not exactly geek talk, but it feels like that to me. I like it.
Well, sleep well little one. I hope you can get your bumper fixed...rotten of someone to rip it and not leave a note, but guess that's what one expects in these days of good moral upbringing. Your insurance should cover it, I assume...don't let them put you off.
Nighty night ;) and a big hug to sleep on.

[DaveM]

Hoops....some possible help on bumpers at least: there are sellers on eBay who offer the dreaded plastic bumper shells that so many cars have these day at about one third of the cost of a "genuine" factory replacement bumper.

Should you end up replacing the bumper, buy one of those and find an independent mechanic who will bolt it on for you. Then get a can of car paint or Krylon Fusion paint that is close to the original and finish it up yourself. I've had to work on one bumper and had the other replaced--sprayed both glossy black instead of the original silver and they look pretty good.

Just by way of price comparison, the bumper I replaced cost $135 for the part and $75 to install it. My local Ford dealer wanted $375 just for the part, installation and paint extra.

[aabram]

Noel sweetie, I hope you can sort it soon....

Hugs

Annabel

[hoops]

it's sunday at about 11:10 pm. the day hass rsolved itself and the tv is on as background noise. i think i finally finished my will, i see my lawyer tomorrow to discuss this and my lawsuit. i hope i don't forget. back to work tomorrow and i hope that i wake in the morning resolved to be strong because tonight, i really don't want to go. as the day draws to a close, i'll be ending it asleep for the first time in a long time. days are far to long to live through awake. a minute seems like hours and day like months, i'm holding on with all my might. it's always amazed me how strong someone has to be to hold and and make it thru to the other side of this mess in one piece, at the time you feel the weakest you are the stongest. doesn't make sense but the so little really does. goodnight to all
peace
hoops

[DaveM]

It is strange but at the times we feel least capable we are indeed at our best. Perhaps because we are forced to confront possibilities we otherwise would not. A 12-Step phrase, "beaten into a sense of reasonableness", comes to mind. We're thick-skulled folks, some of us, and that can be a great asset. But it makes the lessons difficult when we have to learn a new one.

[hoops]

I must say, if there is anything that has gotten me through it is my dedication to treatment of my mental illness. without that, i'd have never been here in the first place. as much as i hate taking thousands and thousands of mg a day, and actually praticing the coping techniques, they have gotten me to today...Monday. and of course all of you and your well wishes and hope, thoughts and prayers, give me a reason when i can;t find one. thank you
peace
hoops