I got a job!

[Dee]

(reprinted exactly as written)

CHINA METALLURGICAL IMPORT & EXPORT CORPORATION
Dear Sir/Madam,
Compliments of the season. It is a pleasure to write to you in respect
of our company, China Metallurgical Import and Export.We are experts
in the sales of raw materials.We export into the Canada/America/parts
of Europe. We are searching for representatives who can help us
establish a medium of getting our funds from our costumers in the
Canada/America/Europe as well as making payments through you to us.
Please if interested in transacting business in view of helping us,so
our clients could make payment, to you being a representative to us,
we will be very glad.And be rest assured that adequate compensations

[Eva]

Congratulations Dee! You must be so happy :rolleyes:

Eva

[lucille]

Yeah, congratulations Dee. :rolleyes: I wonder what kind of costumes The China Metallurgical Import and Export Corporation wear? Will you have to wear a costume too? :D

[david uk]

I am so very happy for you Dee, it couldn't happen to a nicer guy :)

[Dee]

Probably something along the lines of this, Lucille.

http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/deemark/Photo%20Shoebox%20VI/Georg_Agricola.jpg

Georg Agricola, author of De re metallica,
an important early book on metal extraction

I've always longed to wear an inverted pie on my head.

Well, I'm off to do a little shopping, then to the boyfriend's overnight. The pie will have to wait for another day.

Thanks my son. I am elated with giddy feelings.

[KarenSews2]

I got the same kind of job a couple of weeks ago from a "fabrics" manufacturer! Imagine the coincidence! ;) And all I had to do was accept checks, put them into my account...blah, blah, blah...

<<holding hands w/Dee, skipping to the bank...>>


(I think we need a tongue-in-cheek smiley!!)

[Dee]

Are we ever on a roll of good luck Karen.

Good thing I got a ticket on tonight's $37M lottery.

Will you be free to skip hand in hand with me to the lottery office tomorrow? Jimmy will probably be too tired (not to mention too shy) to go since he's in the kitchen preparing an entire turkey dinner for our supper. :eek:

[DaveM]

Surely a tin foil hat would be appropriate wear for a metallurgical company representative.

[KarenSews2]

You bet! I'll be right there! Just let me know when they announce the (YOUR) final winning number!

Now where did I put my skipping shoes... EVA!!!!

[hoops]

well Dee,
i'm so excited for you i could plotz...lol when you can, try to explain what exactly they want you to do, cause that is not a word i;ve ever heard, but then i'm not extensively well read :)
peace and humor
hoops

[stardust]

Karen, I'm pretty sure Eva left your shoes in the corner of the nut file room. Look to your left (ever so slightly to your left).

[Bat]

Geeze, you guys...it's not every day someone offers you the chance to get into the laundry business...money laundering, that is, filthy lucre that it is!

I got a notice from the IRS that they owe me $211.54...wonder what I'll have to do to collect it? That's a new one on me. Should I report it to the IRS?
If I do that will they turn around and audit me? such a conundrum!!

[Eva]

All right, all right... Here are your skippingshoes *hmpf* You'll be pleased to know I cleaned and polished them. And I greaced the springs a bit. You guys should be allright now and ready for the new job.

Eva

[aabram]

Their english is as bad as that one I received where I was supposed to have won £2 million :( I'm not enjoying my winnings, but I hope you'll be very happy in your new job.... :p

Annabel

[Dee]

All right, all right... Here are your skippingshoes *hmpf* You'll be pleased to know I cleaned and polished them. And I greaced the springs a bit. You guys should be allright now and ready for the new job.

Eva

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but it’s really rather hard to skip in these heavy wooden shoes. And all that loud clopping is scaring the children. Don't you have any ballet slippers?

[Elliott]

Dee, I'm so happy for you! It's good to get out more; this sounds like exactly the sort of career choice that just falls into your lap that might change your life! Do they offer a 401K and dental? What about vacation time? Make your best deal going in... seems the sky in the limit. Any possibility of opening a branch or twig here in Houston.

Here in Houston it's a beautiful, clear, blue sky kind of day. Very cool.... light sweater weather, which is a real treat for us Texans. I can't keep Jim's cabin off my mind. My sister has 100 acres in Brenham, Texas and now I have this urge to build a little one room cabin, by myself, on a small corner of her land. I wonder how she would feel about that? And would that require tools of any kind, other than shears? I want to milk a cow and grow fresh herbs. Please make this feeling go away... I love city life!

I think I'm rambling... Love to all.

[Dee]

Here it is 5°C or 41°F with a mix of sun and cloud and a steady breeze, in other words a typical normal November day.

Maybe I'll use my newfound wealth to start my own Weather station. How are you at pointing at maps, Karen?

[Eva]

I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but it’s really rather hard to skip in these heavy wooden shoes. And all that loud clopping is scaring the children. Don't you have any ballet slippers?
Balletslippers? What are you? Gay? :eek:

Eva

[Elliott]

Eva, I hate to point out the obvious, but he's not Gay, he's Dee. Am I the only person here paying attention? Did I ever mention I have a thing for boots?

[Dee]

Balletslippers? What are you? Gay? :eek:

Eva

Well Eva, I'm not really sure. Let me go ask my boyfriend. Maybe he knows.

[Oak Kitten]

Y'all are killing me. I love the wit on this board.

Many years ago I worked for a company that organized trade missions to China. I used to love reading the catalogs from the Chinese companies with slogans like:

"Let our fine tools help you a hand."

and

"Great piano music as only pianos can."

Oak

[DaveM]

I had a contract job for a while that involved taking Asian assembly manuals that had been translated into literal English and translating them into readable and useful English.

For example: "Now there are to be assembled in one place these several portions" became: "Step 1: please insure that all parts are present".

There were a couple of times when I couldn't understand the "translations" and had to ask for help....oh, the terrible things that can be done to the English language!

[KarenSews2]

Maybe I'll use my newfound wealth to start my own Weather station. How are you at pointing at maps, Karen?

<<exercising my index finger>> I points a maps real good! Do you gotta talk good to be on a weather channel?? (tongue firmly planted in cheek)


Oak and Dave, on Friday I had my nails done, and went to the new nail dryers. These are automatic--start when you put your hands under, and shut off when you remove them. The instructions written on the front said something like, "...when you are moving out of your hands..." I think I'd like to stay right in my hands, thank you.

A little off subject, but who decided that all Vietamese coming to this country would learn to do nails? Just askin'.

Elliot, you want to milk cows? Next thing you know, you will have an email from the Dairy Conference of Sweden offering you gazillions of dollars to accept checks... (insert blah,etc. here) And you will have to keep only 50,000 gallons of milk at your place!

[DaveM]

In the St. Louis Park area (west side of Minneapolis/St. Paul) there was a Chinese restaurant with a large sign that read: "I didn't come 9000 miles to serve you ordinary food" (and the place lived up to it). Right next door was a used car place run by the restaurant owner's brother. It featured a sign which read: "Because The Twin Cities Didn't Need Another Chinese Restaurant".

My favorite instruction on hot air dryers has always been the classic: "WIPE HANDS ON PANTS". This past summer, I stopped at a rest area where the hot air dryers had pictorial instructions. On one, someone had scratched a very neat and detailed drawing of hands wiping on pants.

To this day I wonder how long it took, and in the heck has that much time on their hands....

You know, Karen....to my knowledge there are two Vietnamese couples in the immediate area. One runs a Chinese restaurant (which isn't nearly as good as another run by a Chinese couple), and the other--you guessed it--does nails. For awhile they were using some sort of solvent that was cheaper than the stuff they're supposed to use and it was eating everyone's cuticles. Can't imagine how one must feel after inhaling that stuff all day.

Perhaps....loopey?

[Oak Kitten]

A little off subject, but who decided that all Vietamese coming to this country would learn to do nails? Just askin'.


Must have been the same people who decided that the Cambodians would run the doughnut shops, the Sikhs and Pakistanis would run the gas stations, and the Indians would run the motels. At least that seems to be the law in New Jersey.

Ethnic stereotypes aside, the pattern seems to be that new immigrants find a business that does not require an excessive amount of capitalization (I don't know if gas stations fit in there - it seems to me all that equipment - not to mention the gas - especially these days - is pretty damn expensive.)
The business also does not require high level skills to operate. Immigrants can pool their collective resources and get everyone in the family involved as workers, and that is how they hopefully work their way to prosperity.

Sorry for this pedantic interjection. Y'all go back to being funny.

Oak

[Randy & Betty in Pa]

Y'all are killing me. I love the wit on this board.
Oak

Well I'm told that our dear Fiend REDJACK has decided to advance his newest endeavor as a "SIT DOWN COMIC", I've heard tell he is already performing in the Pittsburgh area as REDJACK, the Witless wonder... Oh and Oak, yes he does assasinations on the side.... After all if we didn't need secondary occupations to fall back on just in case I wouldn't have had to become a near sighted Brain surgeon.... And hey, I guarenty my work if you can remember who I was after surgery...

Best to those that remember

R. from Oz:rolleyes:

[aabram]

I died and went to heaven (again) this morning when 'Ultimate Best' arrived. Thanks to the rest of you for being responsible for keeping my sense of humour happy :)

Annabel

[DaveM]

I would like to know who instituted the law which mandates that American cab drivers must not be able to speak English. Including those who are of American descent.

[Dee]

<<exercising my index finger>> I points a maps real good! Do you gotta talk good to be on a weather channel?? (tongue firmly planted in cheek)!

No, you only need to know the difference between wet and dry, Karen.

The Canadian channel known as “The Weather Network” is excellent . . . at getting the weather wrong! Right now for example their TV channel says it's raining outside and yet when I look out the window in front of my desk it's as dry as can be out there. That's why Jimmy and I have dubbed them “The Liar Channel.” :p

[KarenSews2]

No, you only need to know the difference between wet and dry, Karen.

OH!! I know! I know!!! I live in Johnson County, Indiana (wet) and I used to live in Hamblen County, Tennessee (dry). See? I get it!! ;) It was HELL to try to get a beer in Morristown, TN.

[Rickster]

Dee, My friend. Best of Luck on your Job! That's great!

[Dee]

Thanks, Rickster! The cheques are pouring in faster than I can cash them.

[DaveM]

Surely you'll be hosting the next Janismania then, Dee? And paying for our transportation to Canada? We'll bring the Rudie Bus--that should keep costs down a bit. Mind, I suspect Janis will insist on flying.

[Dee]

Yes, and no, Dave.

Actually, I'm investing in a teletransporter to get you all here faster.

:cool:

[stardust]

You're a gem, Dee! Don't forget me!

[Dee]

No, I won't forget you. http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/deemark/Emoticons/buncesmilie.gif

[Wildflower Fever]

In the St. Louis Park area (west side of Minneapolis/St. Paul) there was a Chinese restaurant with a large sign that read: "I didn't come 9000 miles to serve you ordinary food" (and the place lived up to it). Right next door was a used car place run by the restaurant owner's brother. It featured a sign which read: "Because The Twin Cities Didn't Need Another Chinese Restaurant".

My favorite instruction on hot air dryers has always been the classic: "WIPE HANDS ON PANTS". This past summer, I stopped at a rest area where the hot air dryers had pictorial instructions. On one, someone had scratched a very neat and detailed drawing of hands wiping on pants.

To this day I wonder how long it took, and in the heck has that much time on their hands....

You know, Karen....to my knowledge there are two Vietnamese couples in the immediate area. One runs a Chinese restaurant (which isn't nearly as good as another run by a Chinese couple), and the other--you guessed it--does nails. For awhile they were using some sort of solvent that was cheaper than the stuff they're supposed to use and it was eating everyone's cuticles. Can't imagine how one must feel after inhaling that stuff all day.

Perhaps....loopey?

Ahh yes, St. Louis Park, MN. I was there today, and your mention reminded me of a useless bit of trivia. Although there are more celebs from Minnesota than many would guess, little St. Louis Park has a few also. Al Franken, and his SNL comedy partner Tom Davis (Franken and Davis) were raised there and attended Breck High. The Coen Bros. (Joel and Ethan) attended St. Louis Park High, and NY Times columnist Thomas Friedman hails from there as well.
Franken (Jewish himself) offen takes lighthearted jabs as his 'hood, because local morons always referred to the suburb as "St. Jewish Park", or "Hebrew Heights", due to it's heavy populous of Russian Jews.

[DaveM]

My brother worked and lived at a nature center in St. Louis Park for a couple of years (absolutely cannot recall the name at the moment). He has some great stories about chasing naked people out after hours....it seems that a little island of woods in the middle of suburbia has a certain attraction for some.

I do recall some stories about duelling holiday displays....in one area the few Christian families put up so many lights that in one case they actually broke a tree limb off with some overzealous decorations.

Dee....if you build a teleporter, Sister Rose won't be able to drive!

[Elliott]

So what's a teleporter, and why can't SR drive one? Do you need a commerical drivers liscense? I have my private pilots lincense... Is that good enough. I can't take any vacation between Dec.1 - Jan. 2, 2008. Maybe there is an exception for overnight space travel. Please let me know; I want to go too!

[Wildflower Fever]

My brother worked and lived at a nature center in St. Louis Park for a couple of years (absolutely cannot recall the name at the moment). He has some great stories about chasing naked people out after hours....it seems that a little island of woods in the middle of suburbia has a certain attraction for some.

I do recall some stories about duelling holiday displays....in one area the few Christian families put up so many lights that in one case they actually broke a tree limb off with some overzealous decorations.

Dee....if you build a teleporter, Sister Rose won't be able to drive!

I think that may be Theo Wirth Park. The lake you're referring to is Cedar Lake, with it's Hidden Beach. It's a popular nudist/recreationist area. Mostly though, it's teenagers getting wasted, wearing their birthday suits, and having fun, shame on them!:D