View Full Version : She was so blonde
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She was so blonde that:
she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
she thought a quarterback was a refund.
she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
she tripped over a cordless phone.
she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said concentrate.
she told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK".
at the bottom of the application where it says "sign here," she put Sagittarius.
she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.
it took her two hours to watch "60 Minutes".
she thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
she sold the car for gas money.
she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.
hoops
08-08-2007, 02:45 PM
hahahahaha
thanks dee
peace
hoops
david uk
08-08-2007, 03:44 PM
those made me laugh out loud!
thanks, Dee :)
A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV" she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes" he replied.
She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes" he replied.
"Darn it” she muttered as she left the store.
In a few days she returned, a new haircut, a new outfit, big sunglasses and once again she approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied. Frustrated, she exclaimed "How do you know I'm a blonde?"
"Because this” he replied “is a microwave.”
Stephen
08-09-2007, 09:45 AM
A ventriloquist was performing. After he included a few blonde jokes in his act, an angry blonde woman stood and shouted, "I'm getting very tired of this! Not all of us are stupid, you know."
"I'm sorry," the ventriloquist replied. "I was only joking."
"Hey," the blonde snapped, "I'm not talking to you. I was addressing that smart aleck on your knee!"
aabram
08-09-2007, 10:13 AM
A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in theworst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of
one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"
The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?"
The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.
As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the Blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up.
The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement, as the blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back.
Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration,
"CRAP ! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!"
http://i90.photobucket.com/albums/k267/deemark/Vintage%20and%20Strange/PostCard-Bob.jpg
Three Moms, one brunette, one redhead and one blonde, were having coffee in the kitchen early one Saturday morning, enjoying the quiet.
The brunette Mom says, "I went through my daughter's room and found cigarettes! I can't believe my baby's smoking."
The redheaded Mom says, "Well, when I went through my daughter's purse, I found a flask! I can't believe my daughter's drinking."
"That's nothing," says the blonde Mom, "While going through my daughter's purse I found condoms! I can't believe my daughter's got a penis!"
Stephen
08-09-2007, 02:46 PM
Three blondes sat down at a bar. "I'll have a BL," said the first.
"A BL?" repeated the bartender. "That would be a Bud Light?"
"Right," she replied.
"And I'll have a CL," the second said.
"A Coors Light? Coming right up."
Then the third blonde spoke up. "I'd like a 15."
That stumped the bartender. "A 15? A BL and a CL I can figure out, but what is a 15?"
"Duh!" she said. "A Seven and Seven!"
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary, so he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited, and she loves her phone. He shows her how it works and explains all its features.
The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hon," he says. "How do you like your new phone?"
She replies, "I just love it! It's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
"How did you know I was at Wal-Mart?"
Marcia Drummergal
08-10-2007, 10:25 AM
Dee, that one deserves a rim shot! LOL
Marcia :D
hoops
08-10-2007, 08:41 PM
ha HAAAAAAAAAAAA great dee
peace
hoops
Darlene
08-11-2007, 01:45 AM
A middle aged Blond was so proud of her new fax machine. She bought some beautifully decorated fax paper to use with it. After several weeks and no one complimented her on the beautiful paper her faxes were received on. She took the machine back to the store and demanded her money back claiming it was defective and wanted one that could send her faxes on the beautiful paper she had supplied. The store owner could not stop laughing as he gave the blond her money back plus an extra $5.00 to go to another store to purchase her fax machine.
True Story, He He
Peace, Darlene
aabram
08-11-2007, 09:43 AM
Go for it, Darlene :D
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