i love my therapist!

[hoops]

I know, i know, you hear this all the time. people always seem to fall in love with their therapists, it's some kind of projecting kind of thing. oh, you never heard of that...oops, i'm sorry :o . actually, it's not "that way" i just think she is a really great therapist. my therapist from the day program "warned" me about her "She's tough" she said...and she is, she really is. I just happen to think it's great that she is so...well, i'll call it, thought provoking. I don't know why most people go to therapists, but i go for help in becoming more able to cope even with my illness. i don't want to hear jargon, or sweet talking, or question and answer sessions. i want to learn more about myself, to become more self actuallized, and then just when i think i'm getting there, she provokes my thoughts in a whole new way and blam!! i'm blown away. going back to work has been a real challenge for me cause i want to be doing a lot more than i can, and a lot more than i am. of course while i was gone they hired some people to pick up the slack that i'd left hanging when i got sick. now i go to work and they are there cause they have a plan of their own and i am left with far too little to do. and everyone is helping me carry things and making me sit after i've been standing a while and all kinds of stuff like that, trying to help me heal, but i just feel like a crappy worker who is being kept around cause i almost died. it all makes me feel like not going to work, not just feel like it, but hating the thought of it. anyway, my therapist asked me to consider the idea that my rage against someone may be helping to cause the migraine i'd been experiencing for about a week. she lead me to find the answer on my own. and she never forces, she invites, if i want to, me to go into these places, so being who i am, wanting to see if an answer can be found, i try out the destinations she suggests. some have not been where i needed to go, but others have been just the right direction. she's a pip, and a lot of fun to talk too and scarey sometimes, cause i am afraid to go where she suggests, but tho, they all might not be what i need, none of them are harmful. anyway, i ramble, forgive me
peace
hoops

[Randy & Betty in Pa]

Hoops...

You just like her Mercedes SL Convertible... I hope she knows to hide the keys and keep the alarm on. You feel free to rant and ramble any time as far as I'm concerned... I'm hoping we can all get together at some concert next season...

Best....

R. from Pa

Ps... Did you see Sister Rose's new Lincoln? Neither did the dealer where she went to take the test drive...

[hoops]

randy,
she works for the county so she doesn't make that kind of money...though if i were going to shell out a ton of money for therapy, i would give it to none of the 15 therapists i've had, but her. :) thanks my friend
peace
hoops

[hoops]

so my rage, like everything else, was (is) against myself. living after dying can be very depressing. i saw no whilte lights, i heard no calls from heavenly voices. any visions i had, i had while i was wide awake and in a psychotic state of schizoprenia, untreated. oh i had dreams, but i knew the dreams from the "reality". so i get up every morning, drink my breakfast and go for my morning walk. if i have to work that day, i go in and do my job and come home, if i don't i move between napping and watching tv. i walk after lunch and then after dinner. all that waling so i can swallow the liquid i just drank. hopefully after 30 mins it will all be in my stomach, most times it is, sometimes it isn't. it's all part of the healing process i'm told. the healing process sucks. everything was coming along so nicely and in good time, then work happened and everything slowed down. i'm not accustomed to having to pamper my body from hard work and it doesn't make me feel good. after 7 years of not working because of my schizophrenia, i finally went back to the land of the tax paying. now i have this freakish event take my life then spit it back and i have to start all over again. physical weakness and pain, blood pressure that will drop off the chart ( which for me isn't much ) vomiting when the meal won't go down, general ill feeling, and a small infection in my esphogus that just won't go away. all fun and games, just for not dying. others have it much worse than i do, i know. at least i have meds that keep my mental health semifunctional, and i will heal from my physical ills. i have no reason to complain, i have no right. why do i try?

[Oak Kitten]

Hey Hoops,

It never ceases to amaze me at how you are able to bounce back from all these challenges that life throws at you. You are working so hard in so many different ways, and you are indeed fortunate that you have such a great therapist who can help you. I wish there was something more I could say or do to buck you up when you are going through such tough times. I really admire your tenacity. Don't feel bad about venting your frustrations among friends.

Oak

[Mimi]

Hey Hoops,

It never ceases to amaze me at how you are able to bounce back from all these challenges that life throws at you. You are working so hard in so many different ways, and you are indeed fortunate that you have such a great therapist who can help you. I wish there was something more I could say or do to buck you up when you are going through such tough times. I really admire your tenacity. Don't feel bad about venting your frustrations among friends.

Oak

Oak said it all so well, Noel, and don't feel bad about venting. It may help to know that others have it worse - but it doesn't help all the the time. Why shouldn't you complain? You're among friends and you're in my thoughts.

Mimi