hoops
05-11-2007, 06:05 PM
shoot, i never realised there was only one letter different in both of those words.
so mother's day is coming up this sunday here in the us ( not sure if it is the same in other countries) and wouldn't ya just know it, i'm not a mother. now this wouldn't be so bad if my did didn;t include me in with all the other mothers in my family (there are 8) . i don;t know, i'd rather just be left out then be a second thought on someone elses day. now i wanted to be a mother, the right time just never came, and then i lost my mind and promised i would never leave that gene to the world.
when i was younger, i was a teacher and oh how i loved what i taught, and just teaching, i wanted to do it forever. the hours were rough, 18 hour days seven day weeks sometimes months without a day off. but i loved it. then i lost my mind and my job and didn;t work for 7 years. it was very hard for the first few years, i felt lost, i felt worthless and the fact that i lost my mind didn;t help any of this. now i am back to work, not teaching, i don;t know if i ever will again, i still miss it. my job, i do well, i offer my bosses all i have during the time i am working, but when i am not working i love my time off. i'm getting a motorcycle, i'm just about to be 40 and i'm getting a motorcycle, i'm learning the guitar, and there are a lot of other things i want to do. i'd love to fall in love, i'd love to feel good enough to teach again. i'd love to be able to do what i love and still balance my time. i'd love to finish my books, to write a song. in this world where earning your way gets harder every day and the fight to be the best of the best is alway asking you to join in, it can be hard to find free time, love, fun, balance and completeness. i guess the path is yours to choose and i think i have chosen well with what i have, now let all things fall into place. thanks for allowing me this space to let go
peace
hoops
so mother's day is coming up this sunday here in the us ( not sure if it is the same in other countries) and wouldn't ya just know it, i'm not a mother. now this wouldn't be so bad if my did didn;t include me in with all the other mothers in my family (there are 8) . i don;t know, i'd rather just be left out then be a second thought on someone elses day. now i wanted to be a mother, the right time just never came, and then i lost my mind and promised i would never leave that gene to the world.
when i was younger, i was a teacher and oh how i loved what i taught, and just teaching, i wanted to do it forever. the hours were rough, 18 hour days seven day weeks sometimes months without a day off. but i loved it. then i lost my mind and my job and didn;t work for 7 years. it was very hard for the first few years, i felt lost, i felt worthless and the fact that i lost my mind didn;t help any of this. now i am back to work, not teaching, i don;t know if i ever will again, i still miss it. my job, i do well, i offer my bosses all i have during the time i am working, but when i am not working i love my time off. i'm getting a motorcycle, i'm just about to be 40 and i'm getting a motorcycle, i'm learning the guitar, and there are a lot of other things i want to do. i'd love to fall in love, i'd love to feel good enough to teach again. i'd love to be able to do what i love and still balance my time. i'd love to finish my books, to write a song. in this world where earning your way gets harder every day and the fight to be the best of the best is alway asking you to join in, it can be hard to find free time, love, fun, balance and completeness. i guess the path is yours to choose and i think i have chosen well with what i have, now let all things fall into place. thanks for allowing me this space to let go
peace
hoops