After Far Too Long.....SMALL TOWN NEWS!!!

[DaveM]

Overheard at a local gathering earlier this evening:

"So....I had a blowout on one of my front tires. Managed to stop okay and all that. Then I crawled it over to the K-Mart parking lot and tried to change the tire. Lug nuts were all rusted and I couldn't get one loose--even with a three-foot piece of pipe. It just rounded the nut off. Good thing I had an oxy-acetylene torch in the back of the truck. I just torched the thing off. Didn't even wreck the wheel!"

[RedjackRyan]

ROFLMAO! just 'HAPPENED' to have a torch riding around with him... Dave I really enjoy talking to you and sharing friendship but i'm never visiting you in that backwater village.

[Eva]

Peope just happen to have interesting things in the back of their truck where you live Dave :eek:

Eva

[Dee]

Brilliant ... if a tad spooky. :p

[Oak Kitten]

Good thing the tire WAS blown out. People have been killed by using a blowtorch on a wheel rim with an inflated tire on it. The heat causes the air in the tire to expand and VOILA! you are dead before you know it. I actually know someone who lost her father and brother that way. They were working on a tractor wheel rim with a tire with a blowtorch. When the tire blew, it propelled the wheel rim with such force that one of them was decpaitated. So don't EVER do that.

The dude in question here really needs a little remedial learning about preventive maintenance on one's automobile.

Oak

[DaveM]

I was thinking about that myself....that probably would have been a candidate for a Darwin award.

People "just happen" to have all sorts of things in their trucks around here. Some have become quite skilled at putting just the right spin on their beer cans so that when they throw them out the window, they land in the truck bed. Presumably when they truck is full, they go to the recycler.

Then there was the fellow who was stopped by police with most of the valuable contents of a just-burglarized home in the back of his truck. Asked about the items, he replied: "I don't know....I hadn't noticed. Somebody must have put that stuff in there".

Yes, alcohol was involved.

[Eva]

Dave, I really think you should move away from there... :eek:

Eva

[Wildflower Fever]

Dave, I really love driving behind these idiots amidst an unwanted shower of refuse. The other day, a sheet of plywood flew out of a truck on the interstate, so I swerved to miss it and I swear I could see the nails sticking out of it! Still, nothing beats driving behind a sand or gravel truck for pure destruction and annoyance. Just be glad two guys with chainsaws don't jump up in the truck bed when you drive by.

[hoops]

davem,
aren't those things the best?! always great to have high temperature torch in the trunk, you need em just as much as duct tape and w-d40
peace
hoops

[sister rose]

Dave....I think we are going to have a problem deciding where live once we are married......duct tape is a main staple for every house and auto around here.......:o

[DaveM]

Oh, duct tape is another matter. Between that, WD-40, bubble wrap, and a Swiss Army Knife, you should be able to fix practically anything, or at least stop it from making strange noises. A guy not far from here has a 2 x 12 bord as a rear bumper--held on yes, with duct tape. And if you get the red and yellow colored stuff, you can fix broken tail lights and turn signals.

On the other hand, a good welding torch set would cost about what my present car is worth. Nothing terribly exciting in the back of my vehicle...tool kit with jumper cables, blanket, survival candle and matches, warm boots. Cassette tapes all over the back seat which I really need to go through since I buy "car tapes" from Goodwill and discard them when they conk out--usually the first step is to throw them into the back seat.

Sister Rose, will I have to buy a truck? Most of those around here tend to come with extra added rust at no charge. Wouldn't want to get your gown dirty.

[Eva]

Ah... visions of eastern Europe come up in my mind from all this... I feel so at home :D

Eva

[sister rose]

Dave.....I've never see the colored duct tape...only the grey....which is used for literally everything! A paramedic friend of mine carries a roll of it on her ambulance and often uses it instead of backboard straps.....

No truck! We'll keep our cars! If we combine the contents of the back of mine with the back of yours, we should have everything we need: a first out medical bag, a blanket, work boots, crochet stuff, books, plenty of cd's (mostly Janis and Natalie, but, also some Joan Baez, The Indigo Girls, and I forget what else), oh, and probably some kids' toys.....:rolleyes:

[DaveM]

Almost heaven...West Virginia....
Wrecks by the roadsides
Bodies in the river....

I took my Swiss army knife and duct tape to Eastern Europe. If you wrap it around your pack frame it takes up no space and is available whenever you need it.

I also got to "wow" a group of Poles when someone had a bottle of wine and no corkscrew. Out came the Swiss Army knife and voila! They were far more impressed by that than they were by the wine. Which, after tasting the stuff, I was as well.

Believe it or not I have a First Responders medical bag as well, though the contents are not 100% complete. However, I don't haul it around in my car.

Believe the current cassette in the player is Elton John, but I do swap them out now and then.

[sister rose]

I don't have a swiss army knife....or any knife, for that matter...so, I guess we'll have to use yours...I do have scissors, though, that are great for cutting clothes.....:D

ummm....ok...I can handle Elton John for awhile...but, not on the honeymoon!:eek:

[DaveM]

Definitely no Elton John on the honeymoon. I promise.

[sister rose]

Great! At least that part is settled! ;)

So much to plan! :eek:

[Eva]

They were far more impressed by that than they were by the wine. Which, after tasting the stuff, I was as well.
Well... you know how it is with wine. Alcohol is basically all it really needs... :rolleyes:

Eva

[DaveM]

Quite true, Eva....that particular stuff tasted just fine by the time you got to the third glass.

Will leave the planning to you, Sister Rose. Especially if you can get us an ambulance to ride in--we'll have the right of way in traffic and plenty of room. Not sure about CD players, though.

[sister rose]

I can do that, Dave! And I do have satellite radio in mine! :D It belongs to my partner, but, I'm sure he won't mind if we 'borrow' it...:rolleyes:

[DaveM]

Suits me--we might get in the papers with that. Saves having to post an announcement. And we'd get better pictures.

You can drive, of course.

[sister rose]

Suits me--we might get in the papers with that. Saves having to post an announcement. And we'd get better pictures.

You can drive, of course.

rotfl!


You can drive, of course
That goes without saying.....:rolleyes:

Time to start working on the guest list....

Oh...wear anything you want....I'm not picky..;)

[DaveM]

Oh, I've got a great grey pinstripe suit which I have worn exactly four times and looks as if I should be sitting behind a desk at a bank or laying on my back with people filing past commenting on how natural I look. But with a carnation in the lapel, my Janismania button and laminate (not to mention "Take No Prisoners" hat), it should look pretty good.

[Wildflower Fever]

:D Ahhh, just to think a year ago in Virginia Sister Rose promised me her hand... DaveM, beware, I think she's kind of fickle and likes to look for someone better!;) Best of luck, you two, maybe I could be an usher or something as I'm in state with DaveM. Dave, I was in Grand Rapids last evening and today, and I saw alot of these "truck guys". My favorite part is when I'm driving slowly on Hwy. 2, for example, on the rough stretches (of which there are many, but not as bad as Hwy. 169 south of Hibbing) because I drive a car built for roads, not off-roading. I like to call it a little game of "dodge the road hazard". Yet, these A-holes ride you mercilessly, never trying to pass you, because they can and I think they enjoy driving their 4WD's on this crap. What, new roads? We don't need no stinkin' new roads, we got us some big ol' trucks. I also have learned from personal experience that if you enter a town like Grand Rapids and see a sign about "tax free development", beware the Republican stronghold and watch the roads!:D

[GodSistah]

*GASP*

Sister Rose, you jezabel!

:eek:

~Andrea~

[Wildflower Fever]

*GASP*

Sister Rose, you jezabel!

:eek:

~Andrea~

Or was I served a restraining order, instead?:o :D
Anyway, Rose will love the (Jezebel) Natalie Merchant inside reference. So do I. :p

[DaveM]

Oh gosh....are we going to have to become fundamentalist Mormons or something?

[sister rose]

Dave...the suit sounds great! Definitely wear the "Take No Prisoners" hat! I have a flowered skirt and floppy hat that will be perfect with that! :D


Ahhh, just to think a year ago in Virginia Sister Rose promised me her hand... DaveM, beware, I think she's kind of fickle and likes to look for someone better!
You wouldn't let me drive your car! :mad: fickle??!! Oh, you're gonna pay for that one!!




Originally Posted by GodSistah
*GASP*

Sister Rose, you jezabel!

:eek:

~Andrea~



Why, thank you, Andrea! ;)
*see WFF last post.

[Wildflower Fever]

OK, you're just very selective.:rolleyes: :D I know the bride will wear a garland crown.;)

[sister rose]

OK, you're just very selective.:rolleyes: :D I know the bride will wear a garland crown.

too late to kiss up now, buddy! :p
Of course, I will...but, only in hiding. You'll never know ;)

[DaveM]

I do look forward to seeing your crown....

Does a West Virginia reception differ from a Minnesota reception? Minnesota receptions usually mean three crock pots on a picnic table in the back yard, along with a wash tub full of canned beer and some bottles of "stronger stuff". Surely a proper Rude Wedding deserves better.

Do you want to drive my motorcycle too?

How about if we make it a Janis-Pat style ceremony and wear Hawaiian shirts? No ned to worry about picking out colors that way.