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View Full Version : The evil that men do lives after them. . .



Oak Kitten
02-18-2007, 09:01 PM
"The good is oft interred with their bones."

One of the youth group leaders at our church brought this article to my husband's attention. They are going to organize the kids to collect money in support of this man's legal efforts to prevent the parents of his dead lover from disinterring him to bury him in a "family" plot - even though they refused to accept him when he was alive and gay.

Oak

In this case, the evil is in the actions of this man's parents.

LOCAL NEWS | washingtonblade.com

Gravesite battle proves costly for Baltimore man
Parents want gay son’s body moved to family plot

By JOSHUA LYNSEN
Feb. 16, 2007

A gay Baltimore man who’s fighting to keep his late partner buried in rural Tennessee may have to sell his car and home to fund the legal battle.

Kevin-Douglas Olive said the parents of his late partner, Russell Groff, have appealed a court ruling that granted Olive an early win in the case. The appeal effectively restarts the case, making progress a costly proposition.

Olive said he’s committed to continuing a case in which he’s already invested $8,000 — but fears his legal bills may demand another $20,000.

“I’ll do what I gotta do,” he said, “but they’re telling me to expect to spend a lot more than I spent before.”

Olive is working to uphold a November ruling by Baltimore City Orphans’ Court Judge Karen Friedman. In it, the judge rejected the initial attempt by Lowell and Carolyn Groff to overturn their son’s will.

The parents are seeking to move Russell’s body from a grave he chose and inter him at a family cemetery.

Lowell and Carolyn Groff argued in court that their 26-year-old son didn’t know what he was doing when he completed his will and burial instructions shortly before his death on Nov. 23, 2004.

Russell, who was HIV-positive, died from a staph infection that spread throughout his body.

Olive said Russell was estranged from his parents at the time of his death and completed a will and burial instructions in anticipation of the legal battle.

Repeated calls to a phone number the Blade believes to be that of Lowell and Carolyn Groff were not answered and there was no answering machine. But a person or persons posting as the Groffs on Baltimore blogger Bruce Garrett’s site expressed condemnation of gays.

Referencing previous Christian responders to Garrett’s blog, a post identified as from the Groffs said, “I am so glad that the Christians that are standing for the truth are doing it this way ... they are telling the love of Jesus Christ, but yet not condoning the sin of homosexuality.”

The post painted Olive as controlling and manipulative.

“Mr. Olive had to have things his way, so alienating our son from us was the answer.”

The post also said, “the personification that [the relationship between Olive and Groff] was a loving relationship was such a farce.”

Garrett, who has written about the case, said he is confident the message was written by the Groffs but can’t be certain.

“It struck me as authentic,” Garrett said.

Olive has sought legal and financial assistance from some state and national gay groups.

Lambda Legal, a national legal organization working for the civil rights of gays, offered to connect Olive with a local attorney who might handle the case for free.

Unsatisfied, he turned to Equality Maryland, the state’s largest gay civil rights organization. Olive said the group directed him to Mark Scurti, a Baltimore attorney who specializes in gay case law.

“He’s gay, so he has to feel this at some level,” Olive said. “That was really important to me.”

Olive said Scurti, who routinely works for $250 per hour, is cutting him a deal. But the bills remain hefty, and could total $20,000 or more.

“I could sell the car, so there’s a little bit there, and I have some savings, but at that point, what happens?” he said. “I’m worried about this stuff.”

Meredith Curtis, a spokesperson for the American Civil Liberties Union in Maryland, said her office is monitoring Olive’s case.

She could not say, though, whether her office might become involved with the legal battle.

“Certainly, we think that Mr. Olive’s case exemplifies all the myriad problems that can result when the law treats gay partners as legal strangers,” she said, “when in fact they’re not strangers at all.”

Curtis said her office is focused on a marriage equality case pending at Maryland’s highest court. A ruling, which could come at any time, could overturn the state’s statutory ban on same-sex marriage.

Olive has received some assistance from an emerging online campaign that seeks to fund the legal battle. The effort, spearheaded by the BlogACTIVE.com site, began last week.

“I think $1,500 has come in,” he said. “It’s nice to know there are people out there who want to do something.”

Donations can be sent via mail to the Kevin Olive Defense Fund, c/o C.W. Hardy, 715 Park Ave., Apt. B, Baltimore, MD, 21201.

© 2007 The Washington Blade | A Window Media Publication

Darlene
02-18-2007, 11:03 PM
Why are they doing that? They didn't want him when he was alive, they could not control him then. Now he is dead and they are trying to control him when he has no voice. It is so cruel to not let him have his last wishes and be buried at the place he had picked out himself. I am ashamed of my country that can not protect even the wishes of the dead.

DaveM
02-18-2007, 11:19 PM
I don't understand the legal ruling here in the first place. The man made a will which was properly drafted, etc.--so now the parents who wanted nothing to do with him in life claim to know him so well that they know his state of mind when he made the will and can therefore challenge it. Obviously the only intent here is to harm the partner--certainly (and fortunately) their son knows nothing about what they are doing. But what is their legal standing? Sounds like the case of the homophobic judge to me.

Also sounds like more of those self-righteous brand of "Christians" (who simply must be put in quotes as they certainly don't obey Christian teachings) at work. North Dakota's too good for them....

The truly weird thing in families that pick out a "black sheep" as this one did is that there is most likely a sibling who is a bankrupt, useless, multiply-divorced, criminal alcoholic or addict--who can do no wrong in the eyes of the parents.

Dee
02-19-2007, 05:24 AM
Now how pathetic is that?

As a person living with HIV, I know how people in their ignorance can react sometimes, but to call this legal action his parents are taking anything resembling love is a complete load of corn. Shame on both of them!

Oak Kitten
02-19-2007, 09:55 AM
All your points are well taken. Dave, I am confused as well as to why this case is being adjudicated in the Orphan's Court in Baltimore, unless that is where his parent's live. Even so, as you said, what standing do they have to challenge the will of an independent adult child who made specific legal arrangments knowing his parents would be likely to interfere?

Would an organization in Tennessee be able to apply for a legal injunction on behalf of this man to prevent his being disinterred?

Oak

hoops
02-19-2007, 08:45 PM
just how twisted can it get? a person can't even take care of their own death the way they choose. what is left to take? I know that while alive, even with health care proxy, living wills, and other legal documents, once a person cannot convey their wishes, they can be changed without their say so. when my mom was dying, she had a DNR. later when going over her last weeks and how she would be taken care of, mom was in unconscious and dad nullified the DNR just because he wanted it that way. I have been in the company of gay couples at the end of ones life and the family of the person who was dying banned the woman's partner from her hospital room. she was not their when the woman she loved died. it can happen to any and oll of us...and now this. what is left to take

DaveM
02-19-2007, 09:54 PM
The legal situation simply makes no sense to me. Surely sexual preference is not an issue when determining whether someone was "of sound mind" when making a will (scary thing is, it was until 1973). I strongly suspect that the problem here is a judge who believes the law is what s/he says it is--one of those conservative activist judges, y'know. And parents or court personnel who want to hurt the partner and are doing it through his wallet (I see no mention of the parents enduring any financial hardship over this).

Honestly, this is the sort of thing a good judge would simply throw out of court. But apparently anything's possible these days.

dragonlady
02-23-2007, 10:41 PM
Oh those activist judges... (oh they're not all liberal but you don't hear Bush and company screaming about these ones?)... Just think about the ramifications in Virginia where our wills, powers of attorneys and all other contracts that purport to bestow the benefits of marraige are now null and void and that is written into our state Constitution. So, there would not even be a lawsuit in VA.

I wish him all the power in the world to fight his partner's family in this fight...its a fight that my state doesn't even give me the right to fight.

-di

Bat
02-24-2007, 02:01 PM
Time for ACLU to step in, maybe?

DaveM
02-24-2007, 02:38 PM
Definitely time for the ACLU on several fronts. When it becomes a matter of law that an adult cannot make a valid contract "because we said so", there are PLENTY of Constitutional questions at stake. Even in what's left of the Constitution.

dragonlady
02-25-2007, 03:16 PM
...and see why this is in Orphans court...There is a legal prceeding that glbt couples somtimes do where one of the couple adopts the other one. That might be the case here but I'll check with a few friends at our state lobbying agency. They're probably following this closely.

-di