Let down by a friend

[david uk]

I won't go into detail, but I just wanted to share that over the two weeks of my Christmas and New Year stay in Hungary I have been deeply let down by my best friend and former partner, who I have been very close to for 15 years now, to such an extent that I don't know whether I want to keep contact with him.

I have been treated so badly, repeatedly, that it has shocked me.

I can see other friends of his turning away from him too, and that hurts as I have stood by him so many times over the years. But this is probably too much to forgive, at least for a long while.

I won't go into detail as I said, except to say that friendship is a precious jewel, but it is devastating when it is thrown back in your face after so many years.

I'm flying back to the UK on Thursday, thankfully.

[Agnes]

What the ....?! David, are you okay? This sounds terrible. Anything I can do for you?

[ponytail]

So sorry to hear about this, David. It's hard to know what to say knowing so little about what happened, but we're all here for you. You're in my prayers.

[david uk]

thanks jack and agnes

i may explain more later, but it's so fresh that I just wanted to vent for now.

[GodSistah]

Keep your head up!

You have plenty of friends here!

~Andrea~

[Darlene]

Sorry to hear about the problem you had with your friend. I know it hurts so badly. Hope you will back to yourself soon.

[RedjackRyan]

Yeah, what Andrea said! Keep your chin up mate, you are surrounded by friends here.

[Dee]

Good grief!

Please take care of yourself, David. I'll look for you Thursday - same channel.

(((HUG)))

[DaveM]

David...the details are yours to keep. The pain is yours to share. We're here as best we can be, and will be. Hang in there and don't hesitate to give a shout if needed.

[Eva]

Ah, damn these Hungarians! :mad: I will mail you David.

Eva

[Rickster]

David, I won't ask...Just know that we are here for you if you need to vent!

[Oak Kitten]

I am so sorry to hear that, David. I know this is a difficult time, but don't forget about all your good Rudie friends. We DO care.

Oak

[SongDragon]

That sounds horrible, David. I'm so sorry. If you need us, we're here.

*hugs*

~SongDragon

[soulMerlin]

love

henry

[Randy & Betty in Pa]

I'm sorry to hear of your disappointment David.... Sometimes life just throws those curve balls at you... Just bear in mind that perhaps there may have been extenuating circumstances or distractions that caused your friend to not see what he was doing to you or lead to his uncharacteristic behavior.... All those years of close friendship should be cherished and saved if its possible.... Without knowing the circumstances I would only say take your time about making the decision you find yourself forced to make.... Perhaps just stepping back a bit might be in your best interest and see where things lead.... After all there are other options then black and white... Maybe you might wish to consider a shade of gray until you better understand your disappointment in him and also what may have motivated him to treat you so poorly.... Just be careful on deciding when to trust judgment and when to trust your heart.... Sometimes things can be misread... In any case my friend, Betty and I send you prayers and best wishes and hope that you find a resolution that works well for you...

R. from Pa...

[marjan]

I'm sorry about that David. Try to keep seeing the bright site of life, there really is one for you as well!!

[Marcia Drummergal]

I once got "dumped" by someone I considered to be a close friend. Actually, MORE than once. Apparently the feelings weren't mutual. Your situation is, of course, unique to you. Just know that there is empathy here. And also a LOT of Rudie friends for you here all the time.

Sending a cyber hug across the pond to you.

Marcia

[invsbl_wife]

Leaves you a hug. And wishes you peace.

[saxman]

David im still here for you ,you need to talk im here for you . it sucks when anyone looses a friend . it hurts , anger sets in etc . dont let the sun go down, email me if you need . slotmike@verizon.net its safe here on this site you have FRIENDS that you never have to worry about. take care, Mike

[Ginny]

David, I've also been let down badly by a friend. It felt like a "sucker punch'. You know, so unexpected. After (quite) a while, I was able to think more rationally about the situation and gain some insight into what had happened. We never really talked about our "falling out". She and her husband and kids moved away and we don't talk anymore. But I can see now that over our fifteen-year friendship, I was letting things slide that bugged me about her. She was no doubt doing the same thing with regards to me. I had been afraid to lose her friendship, and ended up - losing her friendship. I thought she was so great and entertaining, and that I was not at all. So I didn't want to rock the boat. I put too high a premium on her, and not enough on myself.

I hope that you and your buddy can at some point discuss your situation and reach peace between you. May God bless you.

~ Ginny

[AceOn6]

David, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Please stay in touch. ((((David))))

[hoops]

david, i'm so sorry your trip had to come to this...please know you always have friends here. i hope you feel better soon.
peace
Noel

[aabram]

David, I'm here for you. You have my number if you want to talk, and I'll text you tomorrow...

Annabel

[Denise]

<<hug>> from me too!!

[david uk]

thanks everyone for your kind words as usual. I am feeling a bit better today.:)

Randy, your post makes sense, especially in this particular situation so thanks for that. Yes I believe (in fact I know) that there are reasons why he has been behaving the way he has (not only with me). I'd rather not go into them in detail, but I am sure you'll understand what I mean when I say there are certain things you can use to alter your mood, often with disastrous effects. If you don't get what I mean, I think I'd better not go into any more detail... but you don't need to use much imagination.

I had a very serious talk with him yesterday and I think much of what I said is sinking in. We had dinner out with a few friends this evening and it was fine, but I think I need to put some distance between us for the foreseeable future, even if I don't break contact.

I am busy building up my own mental health at the moment, and am doing really well :) so want to stay well away from any bad stuff.

Dee, I'll chat to you tomorrow mid aft your time all being well


sorry if the above seems vague

[AceOn6]

No worries, David. Your plan sounds good and you sound GREAT!!!

[Dar]

David,
I think you're wise to give your friend some space. If he is a true friend, and I suspect he really is, he will find his way back to you, providing of course that he finds his way back to himself.

In the meantime, you know your Rudie family has your back.

[Dee]

Okay David. Look for you then.

[aabram]

David, I emailed you.

[ponytail]

I'm relieved to hear you sounding so much better, David. Glad to hear things have calmed down and you're getting some perspective. It does sound like getting some space is also a good idea. I'm keeping you in my prayers. A big hug to you.

[david uk]

thanks jack and everyone else.....

I am back in the UK and feeling good if somewhat sad.....

had a great chat with the wonderful Dee and the world seems normal again lol

I have to move on.

aren't rudies great people to vent to??

:)

[Bat]

::::muttering something about doors closing and windows opening....:::::


Onward and Upward, David!

[Ginny]

David, I'm glad to read that you're feeling so much better and keeping your balance. :)

[Cardiffgal]

David,

I have been following our thread. I am glad you are home safe and sound.

Sounds like you are well on your way to a happy 2007 in spite of some sadness.

Be well.:)

[aabram]

David, in every life there is bound to be heartache. Still a new year and new beginnings and all that :D I have much to look forward to this year interspersed with lots of ringing-based events as it's the 75th anniversary of the SACR ( www.sacr.org )as well as all these other good things I keep going on about :rolleyes: Hoping I'll be able to afford one big knees-up in August too??? :confused:

[Rickster]

David, Wishing you good and positive Karma.

[david uk]

thanks Rickster and all

feeling fine at the moment :)

[hoops]

david uk where do you find these cute animals...i love them...when i think of a cute animal i think of you :)
peace
hoops