drugs pain and a need to be numb

[saxman]

i need more and more drugs to help with the pain. the drugs sometimes get in the way of me feeling . When i cant feel i feel lost . when im lost i cant feel. My biggest fear is that when i get to the point that i need the drugs. to deal with the pain . my pain cant be played via my horn. ive always used my music and my horn to express my feelings. the more drugs i take to relieve the pain the more i cant express it, via my horn , do i make any sence ? im not use to not being able to play . i play and the pain is released.

[Eva]

Yes, you make sense. And I can imagine it's very scary. Is there no alternative for the medication you are taking? Something else that doesn't make you feel numb? Maybe it is good to talk about that with your doctor. I don't know your situation well enough to be able to say anything usefull about that. And I am not a doctor either. In any case I send you lots of Rudie vibes. Whatever happens, you are not alone. You have your children and other family and friends. And you have also made some friends here on this messageboard.

Eva

[hoops]

Mike, meds are a tough decision. when to take them and when not to, how much and how often. and doctors, a lot fo them don't really know how to instruct you because they want you to be comfortable but not become tolerant of them or addicted adn everyone has a different level of tolerance. the choice, then is ours to make and my rule is can i function. function for me means being able to get out of bed, walk, drive, care for my living space and myself, feeding, clothing , bathing etc. if i am too drugged to do these things then i need less, if i am in too much pain otr my mind isn't fuctioning well enough to do these things then i need more. cutting back, for me, is easy, increasing can be difficult because unless i really pay close attention i can be in a very bad place before i realize i need more. i hope when i write to you i don't sound like ano it all, that is not my intetion, but it is to share what has worked for me.peace
now
hoops

[saxman]

Thanks i know what you mean . i see my dr at least once a week . i understand the need for escaope and the real need to relieve pain . Im Very close to my drs. orders. Thanks for you reply