ashamed to post this

[david uk]

things have been getting very bad lately.

my work has stopped my pay as I have been off sick too long. I have forms to fill in to get state help but I just can't concentrate on them enough to write on them.

the other night I was talking online to my friend Mohamed in Abu Dhabi and ha was so worried (he is a doctor) that he sent a long email to zoltan, my ex partner, who is flying over from Hungary on Wednesday to spend a week here.

I hate this kind of post, but I came close to doing something very stupid on Saturday night. Fortunatley Mohamed checks up on me several times a day either by phone or online and he immediately made sure I contacted the emergency services.

Zoltan arrives on wednesday, I see the doctor on Friday and Mohamed is in constant contact, so I don't want to alarm anyone here. I am also going to see my mother for the first time in a long time on sunday.

I am thinking twice about posting this, as the worst thing to do is to worry anyone here... I am surrounded by good people and will be ok.

just wanted to share.... sorry if i AM BORING ANYONE.

[Agnes]

David, don't you ever think you're boring us! You mean a lot to me, my friend. Please text me if you need someone to talk to, I'm happy to give you a call or chat with you. You know where to find me, I'll be there.

hug, Agnes

[pulmike]

You say we should not be alamed, david, so I won't be. I am so sorry that you're having tough times. You are not the only one. Many people have lost their lives their homes, their jobs, their family, their children in this new mid east war, and tragedy constantly strikes elsewhere as well. I do not mean to minimize your trouble. I only mean that troubles are. Take deep breaths and count them. Be calm.

pulmike

[Dee]

Following our little chat just now David, I have to say that I'm greatly relieved Zoltan is going to come stay with you awhile. I'd be there myself if I could (but you know that).

[Amy in Vermont]

David, dear heart,

Hang in there. This too will pass.

A year ago my partner finally got disability after waiting for years. She had not worked for 2 years before that. Her issues are very similar to yours, and the emotional toll that this has taken on her was immeasurable.

Keep talking to you friends, and don't be afraid to ask for help. We are here.

[Eva]

Hey! I gave you my phonenumber. So use it when you feel bad. Doesn't matter what time it is. Oh, and you don't have to be ashamed of anything. Life just sucks sometimes.

Eva

[Lin]

Dear David - Please keep posting to us. Always know that you can say how you feel here and we will listen. I am glad that you clicked the send button. I want to know how you are doing. Hang in there. I am glad you will be seeing Zolton soon, the doctor and your mum. Sounds like you have a busy week. Write again soon,

Lin xo

[KarenSews2]

Never be ashamed to lean on Rudies. This is a wonderful and loving group of people. After this past weekend, I am more convinced of that fact than ever! We are here for you. We want to know how you are doing.

[hoops]

david,
thank you for sharing with us, we do care about you and want to know when you need help, even if it's just positive thoughts and/or prayers. My friend i say this having A LOT of personal knowledge of what you are going thru. Use the system, that is why it is there. what i mean by that is go to the hospital, it is there to help you, not only ot stablize you but to put you in contact with the people that can make things like getting financial assistance happen faster. the people there want to help you to be able to be on your own and to be able to pay you bills, it is a win win thing for them because they want you to be able to pay them so they will show you how to find the funds you need to keep life together. I was a frais ot the hospital for a long time, in the beginning, then i realized what a great resource it can be. take all the help you can get except ECT. and that means from your firends too. peace my friend
hoops

[AceOn6]

Dear David. Hang in there. You're doing the right thing checking in here and making sure your friends know your state. ((((David))))

[Elliott]

I'm thinking of you David. Know that, and take care of yourself.

[GodSistah]

Keep your head up, David!

Much prayer and love to you, bro!

;)

~Andrea~

[Oak Kitten]

Hang in, David, you made the right decision to call your friend and to call on your fellow Rudies. You can lean on us anytime. We are all pulling for you. Keep in touch and don't give up!

Oak

[ponytail]

Sorry to hear you're hurting, David. We all care about you and want to know how you're doing -- no need to be ashamed (I've been there, too. I've been hospitalized for depression repeatedly). If knowing it helps, I'm praying for you and sending Rudie energy your way, as I'm sure many of us are. And I'm with Hoops -- don't be afraid to get help if you need it.

[DaveM]

There is no shame in the truth, and I thank you for your honesty, David. You know we've both walked the same road at times--it's a rocky one, and the destination is always uncertain, but don't ever think you're walking it along. Speak your mind here as you wish, and you can add my name to those to contact privately if you want.

By the way, I'm in complete agreement with Hoops on ECT. Just don't do it. Some physicians can make it seem terribly appealing, but be strong and take note that you don't see them volunteering for it! Just stay away from that stuff--the bad times will pass, of that we can all assure you. And yes, I know that sounds stupid right now--it certainly has for me many times. But I'm here to tell the tale nonetheless--and you will be too. Trust me on that.

[Robert the Bard]

Good luck, man. I kinda know where you are coming from, having been off work myself for over a year. It's a hard row to hoe, for sure, but in the end, it's worth it. May much peace find you. Robert

[mixtymotions]

Most of your post sounds very confident, David! Especially the part about being surrounded by people who love you, and that you'll be ok. I believe you will be! Sending you a warm virtual embrace, you sweet thing you!

[snakegrl]

Hang in there. Sounds like you are doing the right things. And if all else fails, eat 10 big-butt ant queens every two hours and call us in the morning.:p

[Randy & Betty in Pa]

with things is nothing to feel shame for... It happens to all of us at times and reaching out is often the best remedy... I would say most of us here on the board have done the same at one time or another. Yes we all go through the ups and downs.... Just know that your in our thoughts and prayers... Honestly I feel a bit of shame in how long it took for me to read your post...Guess I was self absorbed with things.... David, One day at time... force a smile, take a step... and hell if that dosen't work... Do as I do...Just think about kicking Redjack... That always lifts the cloud and makes me smile... Seems to me over the past couple years you've come a long way and through some ups and downs... When things are down... then just call on friends to remind you of the better times... There is certainly no shame in that...I'm blessed & thankful to have all of the Rudies as friends..... Especially Redjack...

Take care my friend...

R

[Denise]

Hey I can't say much more than all the others have said.... but i'd like to send a big hug .... <<<<<<<<hug>>>>>>>>

[RedjackRyan]

hang in there David, we are all here for you.

[NinasSpaceChild]

David, you have so many great friends here and people who love and care about you.

Never feel ashamed or embaressed about sharing your thoughts emotions and feelings.

Now a little time has passed, I hope you are coping better and I'd fill the forms out for you if i was there. I know they are a nightmare.

There is an Advocacy Service that will help you with the forms, not many people know that. If you want any more information, let me know and I'll help as much as I can.

Take Care.

Dylan x

[gisli]

Hope you are doing better..............

Well I wished I could say something more but I have been staring at the screen for 5 min and I don´t think there is anything else that I can add to what others have said, so ditto that.

David, stay safe.

[SongDragon]

David, we're friends. We're here to support you, even when that means you have to occasionally "bore us" (which you HAVEN'T). Even when that means you have to make these posts. We're here for you, and want you to know that.

Take care. I have good thoughts for you.

~Song

[Melba]

Dear David,

Hang in there. Do not be ashamed of having to post given the state of things surrounding you. I am certainly glad you have someone to be with you during this terrible time. You will always have the Rudie support just by asking. ;) Hope things take a turn for the better soon. Here is a big cyber hug.

[Margay]

Hang in there puppy!
You are loved.

Margay

[Rickster]

David, Please know that we are here for you! Anytime you need comforting...we are here! Think of it as an online support group! Good Luck!

[david uk]

Thank you so much for your support everyone- it means a lot to me....

zoltan is here now from Hungary so I am in good hands now for a few days :)

[ponytail]

I'm so glad to hear that he's with you, David. Please keep us posted on how you're doing. A big hug to both of you!

[Lin]

How are you today David??

Keep strong. Lin xo

[david uk]

Hi everyone

thanks again for all your support.

I am feeling a bit better today just very very tired- think I overdid it today walking around town with zoltan etc but anyway not doing too badly all things considered.

rudie hugs to you all

david xxx

[Cardiffgal]

Hang in there David, so happy you have someone with you who knows and loves you.

[Eva]

Glad to hear from you David! Please tell Zoltan this:

Légyszives vigyázál jól a Davidunkra! :)

Eva